She's the Man
by Kohaku Minamoto
Summary: A botched mission triggers strange transformations in the bodies of the Spirit Detectives. Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama, and Hiei wake up to discover that they just aren't the men they used to be...FINALLY UPDATED AFTER A TWO-YEAR HIATUS.
1. Mission Accomplished, Mission Botched

This story was kind of…on a whim. Whatever it was, it helped me to get through my crappy day as I thought of various ways to torture the Yu Yu Hakusho characters. Mm-hm…fun. Hiei's gonna hate me for doing this to him. Either way, it's supposed to be a humor fic, though not the kind where everyone's completely crazy and out of character. I'm preserving their souls, here! Give me credit, people!

**DISCLAIMER**: Doesn't matter that I don't own them – this way, it's just more fun!

* * *

**SHE'S THE MAN  
**_By Kohaku Minamoto_

**Chapter 1. Mission Accomplished, Mission Botched**

* * *

Yusuke wiped the sweat from his forehead and looked down at the remains of the demon he had been fighting. "Whew. That took a while." 

Kuwabara rolled his eyes. "Sure, Urameshi. Guess you're losing your touch now, aren't you?"

Yusuke's response was a swift punch to the orange-top's head, sending the taller teen reeling. "Shut up, idiot."

"Now, you two. Must you act so juvenile?"

"Hn. It's their nature, fox. You can't make them change," Hiei stated, sheathing his sword.

"Just like we can't change your bloodthirsty nature, huh, shrimp?" Kuwabara shot at him. Hiei smirked.

"Exactly, though I'm surprised that thought was able to get through your thick skull."

"I'm gonna get you for that!"

Just as Kuwabara lunged towards Hiei, Yusuke noticed something glowing behind them. He didn't know what it was, but he knew it wasn't going to be anything good.

"Kuwabara! Hiei! GET DOWN!"

"Huh?" Kuwabara turned his head, then yelped when he saw the eerie green light heading straight towards him. "Ah!"

The light hit him head on, sending him straight into Hiei. Both fell to the ground, instantly unconscious. Yusuke and Kurama stared as the bodies of their friends gleamed with energy.

"Whoa…too weird…"

"I agree."

Yusuke bent down to investigate what had hit them. Kurama joined him, searching for evidence of some kind of demon. They didn't see the light until it hit them.

Rather painfully.

* * *

"Urgh…" Yusuke rolled over and moaned. His head was throbbing and he felt…itchy all over. He opened his eyes blearily. "What happened?" 

He was lying on the ground next to Kurama in the exact same place he had been before. The Spirit Detective sat up and rubbed his head.

He stopped. "What the hell?" Even his voice sounded weird to his own ears, but Yusuke disregarded it as an aftereffect of the hit.

His hair was hanging all over his eyes, and it seemed to have grown past his shoulders. Yusuke shrugged – he'd had weirder things happen to him – and got to his feet. The sky had grown dark, and it was hard to make out his friends' silhouettes. He shook Kuwabara's shoulder. "Hey, you big lump. Wake up."

Kuwabara moved away from Yusuke's hand and groaned. "Not yet, sis…just a few more minutes…"

_Huh? Even Kuwabara's voice sounds weird. Must just be him._ "I'm not Shizuru, stupid. Now get up."

"Wha…? Oh! Urameshi!" Kuwabara sat up. "Hey, how come my voice sounds all funny?"

"I don't know, asthma? Come on, help me wake up Kurama and Hiei."

Kuwabara grunted in his weird, higher-pitched voice and went over to Hiei. "Rise 'n shine, shrimp!" he sang.

"Cut out that awful noise, idiot."

Yusuke froze. He wasn't too freaked out about his voice and Kuwabara's, but _Hiei_? "Hey, Hiei, you feeling okay?"

"Of course, stupid."

Kurama sat up behind him. "I beg to differ," he murmured. "I think something is seriously wrong."

"Yeah." Yusuke wandered away and stood under the glow of a nearby streetlight. "Hey, you guys, get over here."

The other three followed his example. For a moment, they all stared at each other, then at themselves. Yusuke was the first to break the silence.

"WHAT THE HELL? WE'RE GIRLS!"

* * *

Hiei was silently fuming as the foursome walked to Kuwabara's house, which was nearest. His – her – hair, which had grown slightly longer and wasn't as flame-shaped anymore, kept falling into her eyes, which were larger and rounder. And that was not to mention a small but still noticeable part of her chest that hadn't exactly been part of her anatomy before… 

Kuwabara had changed the most by far. As a guy, her figure could only be described as 'big and clumsy' at best. As a girl, the rougher lines had been softened, leaving the boy-turned-girl with a rather nice figure. Light auburn hair with tints of orange fell to her tapered chin, and her voice was much smoother and higher than before. She was almost…pretty.

"How are we going to deal with this?" Yusuke asked the question that all of them were thinking. The Spirit Detective's hair fell past her slender shoulders and itched something terrible. She pushed it off her neck irritably, hazel eyes flashing. "We can't explain this to our classmates."

"Kurama already looks like a girl. No one will notice," the female Hiei said cuttingly.

"I do not appreciate such comments, Hiei," Kurama said, slightly peeved. The fox hadn't changed much at all, besides the fact that her hair was smoother and her figure was…well, more feminine, to put it simply. Yusuke crossed her arms over her larger chest and scowled.

"It's all binkie-breath's fault."

"How did you come up with that?" Kuwabara wanted to know.

"Don't you get it? He was the one who sent us on this stupid mission. If he hadn't, we'd still be guys and have our d – "

"No need to be vulgar," Kurama said hurriedly.

"Whatever. It's not like I'm a lady or anything."

Kuwabara knocked on the door of the house. Shizuru opened the door, a cigarette between her lips. She squinted out at the figures on her doorstep. "It's late, you know. You girls shouldn't be out alone."

"Hey, sis!" Kuwabara waved a hand. The cigarette dropped from Shizuru's lips.

"K-Kazuma? What on earth happened to you?"

"Uh…" The tall girl twiddled her thumbs nervously. "It's kinda a long story…"

Shizuru looked livid. "I've got all the time in the world," she ground out through clenched teeth. "I'd love to hear it."

"Ulp." Kuwabara looked scared. "O-okay…"

* * *

Shizuru poured herself another cup of coffee and sighed to herself. "Geez, baby bro…or should I call you baby sis from now on?" 

"Oh, shut up, sis!"

Shizuru folded her arms across her chest and directed her stare at each of the Spirit Detectives in turn, inspecting their new features. "It's hard to believe all of you got turned into girls."

"Yes. It is quite strange…"

"So tell me, Kurama. What does it feel like to be…gender-fulfilled?" Shizuru teased, leaning back in her chair. Kurama frowned.

"…Please don't say things like that."

"Either way, you should probably contact Koenma and let him know what happened."

Kurama wordlessly reached into her pocket and pulled out her communicator. Yusuke couldn't help giving the spirit fox another dig.

"What's wrong, Kurama? Need to touch up your makeup?"

Kurama's glare was no less scary then when she had been a male. Yusuke made a squeaking sound in the back of her throat and looked away hurriedly. Hiei smirked.

Koenma's image appeared in the mirror. He was stamping papers and did not look up at Kurama. "What is it? I'm a very busy person, you know."

"I believe we have a problem, Koenma."

The voice made the tiny ruler look up. "Eh? Who're you?"

Yusuke pushed her face into the screen. "She's Kurama, idiot. Now get your ass down here so I can kill you for what happened to us."

Koenma gulped. He could see by the girl's angry visage that she meant every word of her threat, and he knew that he was going to regret something, though he didn't know what quite yet.

* * *

Sorry, I know this was short, but I'm working on the next chapter already! Hope you all like it! Remember to review! 


	2. Koenma, We Have a Problem

Well, I'm back…I'm hoping that this chapter will turn out a little bit better. Hope you all like it. There is some pervertedness…you have been warned.

**DISCLAIMER**: I thought I told you before. I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. Now stop hounding me, you stupid lawyers. Geez.

* * *

**SHE'S THE MAN**  
_By Kohaku Minamoto_

**Chapter 2. Koenma, We Have a Problem**

* * *

It just wasn't one of Koenma's better days.

The deity was currently sitting in a chair, surrounded by four rather angry-looking girls that seemed intent on ripping his insides out. Koenma gulped, sucking furiously on his pacifier. Though he was in his teen form, it didn't help much against the wrath he could feel emanating from the girls. And judging from the look in Yusuke's eyes, he was in very big trouble.

"W-well, ladies…what can I do for you?" he asked, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

"You cant turn us back into guys, you stupid baby!" the brunette standing right in front of him yelled.

"Yusuke, calm down. We should talk about this like civilized people."

"To hell with being civilized," Yusuke seethed. "I want my old body back!"

Shizuru lit a cigarette and watched the drama unfold before her. _This is way better than those lame late-night TV shows that are probably on now_, she thought to herself, snickering quietly.

Koenma sighed. "I suppose this was partly my own fault for not warning you…"

"Explain, please," Kurama requested politely.

"The demons you were chasing after led you down an alley that is, apparently, alive with Spirit Energy. It's not exactly of the friendly type. Normal people are not affected, but the four of you all have rather high levels of energy. You going into that alley was like putting a magnet into a pile of paperclips."

"That doesn't explain how we all got turned into females," Hiei snapped.

"As I said before, the Spirit Energy is not exactly friendly. It is highly unstable and entered your bodies as a means to stabilize itself. You all can control large amounts of energy easily, but it seems that the change has made your bodies switch gender completely, for some reason." Koenma mused silently for a moment.

Yusuke snorted. "So how do we turn back into guys again?"

Koenma stood up. "I'll get someone to analyze it. In the meantime, I suggest you four get some sleep. I have a feeling that the process is going to require quite a bit of work."

"Work I can handle," Yusuke growled, cracking her knuckles. "Just get your ass moving, Koenma, before I do it for you."

* * *

Yusuke stared at her reflection in the mirror in Kuwabara's room. It was so strange to be seeing herself as a girl, though Yusuke could pick out some characteristics that tied her female self to her male self – eye color, hair color, and basic facial shape. But the rest seemed completely alien. Yusuke ran a hand over her long hair and sighed.

"Hey, Urameshi," Kuwabara called. "Get some sleep, would you? It's annoying, watching you look at yourself in the mirror."

Yusuke looked at Hiei, who was sitting on the windowsill. "You're staying, Hiei?"

"Hmph. I might as well. I want to get out of this body as soon as possible."

"Or maybe you don't," Yusuke teased. "I think you make a pretty good girl, Hiei. Probably would catch a lot of guys."

"Do not insult me with such comments."

Yusuke rolled her eyes and reached over to poke Hiei's chest. "You're just jealous since your boobs are so tiny."

Hiei grabbed the other girl's wrist before it could touch her. "Hands off, detective," she growled. Kurama came out from the bathroom, her hair tied back loosely with a few strands framing her delicate face.

"I see you haven't lost your lewdness, Yusuke," she commented, sitting at Kuwabara's desk and crossing her legs. Kuwabara stared at the fox for a minute.

"Geez, Kurama. You look like a real girl now."

"I'm not sure whether to take that as an insult or a compliment."

"It's a compliment," Yusuke said carelessly, then flopped down onto Kuwabara's bed. "I'm goin' to sleep. See you in the morning."

* * *

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

Yusuke cracked open one eyelid and stared irritably at the window. _What is that annoying noise?_ She wondered. _Some of us are actually trying to get some sleep here._

Kuwabara woke up as well. "Hey, what's that?" she asked groggily. "Shrimp, cut it out."

"It isn't me," Hiei's voice came from right beside Yusuke, causing the Spirit Detective to jump.

"If it isn't you, then who is it? Kurama?"

"Now, Yusuke, do you honestly believe that?"

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

The curtains were drawn, and they couldn't see out of the room. Hiei marched over to the window and dragged the curtains apart to reveal an all-too-familiar girl seated sidesaddle on an oar.

"Botan…" Yusuke groaned.

The bluette waved. "Hey!"

Yusuke yawned as Kurama opened the window to let Botan in. "We're trying to sleep here, you know."

"The results have just come in," Botan said, as though she hadn't heard the Spirit Detective's words. "I can't see you in the dark, but Koenma told me that you four all got turned into girls. Am I right?"

"Yeah…" Kuwabara switched on the light. Botan blinked at the sudden brightness, then looked at the four teens. After a brief moment of silence, she squealed happily. "Oh my gosh! You all look so cute!"

Yusuke winced. "Rather be a guy again than be a cute girl," she muttered.

"Well, I think that being a cute girl is going to _help_ you become a guy again!" Botan said, winking.

"How's that?"

"Ooh, this mission is _so_ much more fun than those apocalypse-prevention things that you guys always do. Now let's go downstairs and we'll debrief!"

* * *

Cliffhanger! Sort of.

I know this one is short too, but I had to cut it off in order to maintain the cliffhanger. Review!


	3. Not as Easy as Do Rei Mi

Chapter three! I'm on a roll! And now I'm asking for people who will attempt to draw the Spirit Detectives as girls. Please email the URLs to me, and I'll post them on my profile! Thanks!

**DISCLAIMER**: Don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I only own Ren. She's not a Mary-Sue – no real romance in this, so don't flame!

* * *

**SHE'S THE MAN**  
_By Kohaku Minamoto_

**Chapter 3. Not as Easy as Do Rei Mi**

* * *

"It's simple, really," Botan explained as the group took seats around the kitchen table. "There are only a couple known cures to something as large-scale as this. Your body will change back naturally in four years, but I doubt you guys want to wait that long." 

"No shit," Yusuke muttered.

"There are three cures in all, but two are unobtainable for you four. Your only choice is to join a competition that is taking place in a month."

"What kind of competition?" Kurama asked.

"It is an all-girl competition, but it's not something anyone can just enter on a dare. It combines physical skills, talent, and smarts, all into one mega-tournament. You are all going to enter in the regional. In order to win the grand prize and thereby cure yourselves with it, you must win the regional, the national, and then the worldwide competition. It'll be hard, but I'm sure you're all old hands at beating the odds now, aren't you?"

"Sure."

"Your team must consist of four participants and a manager, as well as a trainer. I am your manager, and one of the younger ferrygirls is going to be your trainer. I trust you'll be nice, won't you?"

"Can't guarantee it, but we'll try." Kurama gave Hiei a pointed look.

"Great! We'll start early tomorrow morning, to shop for your clothes."

"Clothes?"

"Yeah, of course! You didn't think you could just walk on stage wearing those uniforms, did you? You need fashionable clothes that you can wear to group competitions and look beautiful in! Keiko, Shizuru, and Yukina will help, so don't worry your pretty little heads over it!"

The four boys-turned-girls exchanged a glance. What had they gotten themselves into?

* * *

Shizuru woke them up bright and early the next morning. The Spirit Detectives piled into her car, staying practically silent for the entire ride to the mall. If someone didn't know better, they would've thought that the four were sulky teenage girls off to the dentist or something. 

Two hours before noon, they arrived at the mall, where Botan, Yukina, and Keiko were waiting. Kuwabara rushed out of the car at the sight of the green-haired apparition. "Yukina!"

"Oh, hello, Kazuma. You're looking…well."

Shizuru rolled her eyes, grabbing Kuwabara by the scruff of the neck and dragging her into the mall. "Away from Yukina, or else people are going to start thinking you're lesbian."

They entered the mall, where Botan and Keiko immediately started arguing over the type of clothes that they should purchase for the group's performances. Keiko thought that they should buy clothes that were darker, neat, and more reserved-looking, while Botan thought that they should buy clothes that were bright, flashy, and conspicuous.

"Do you want them to look like a bunch of hippies, Botan?"

"I don't know, Keiko, do you want them to look like a bunch of _schoolgirls_?"

Yusuke was tired of their arguing. "Would you both shut up?" she yelled.

Botan looked at the other girl. "Well then, what do you propose, Yusuke?" she asked with a rather sarcastic tone.

"We need a team name, don't we? Let's first choose one, then decide on the team." Yusuke spun around and started conversing with Kuwabara, Kurama, and Hiei. Straining their ears, the other girls could just barely catch small parts of their discussion.

"How about – "

"No, that sounds too girly…"

"Urameshi, what do you think about – "

"Sounds like we're advertising cheese or something…"

"Hiei, do you have an opinion?"

"Hn. No."

They bickered some more, then finally seemed to reach a decision. Botan tapped her foot impatiently.

"Well, stop beating around the bush! Tell us!"

"Okay, keep your hair on," Yusuke grumbled. "We're the 'Cinderella Rejects.'"

There was a moment of silence as Keiko and Botan stared. Yusuke fidgeted under their gazes, then looked away. "Fine, if you guys don't like it, you think of another one!"

"No, it's…great!"

"Really! It suits all of you perfectly!"

"Botan, doesn't Hot Topic sell things that would fit that theme?"

"Yeah, but we're on a limited budget here. Do you think we could see if a discount store has the things you're talking about, and then modify them?"

"Fine, whatever," Yusuke waved a hand carelessly.

She didn't know just how much trouble that she had just gotten herself into.

* * *

"This?" 

"No."

"What about this?"

"Definitely not."

"How about this one?"

"Hell no."

Botan threw her hands up in the air. "Well, Yusuke, if you don't like any of the things that Keiko and I picked out, then you choose your own clothes!"

Shizuru was sitting in the corner next to Kurama, sketching something out on the back of a flyer she'd picked up at the entrance. "Hey, if you girls don't mind, I've got an idea here," she stated quietly.

"Go ahead, Shizuru." Botan glared at Yusuke. "Shoot."

Shizuru held up a half-finished drawing. "I was thinking that they could wear something like…ripped jeans and dark shirts. Something that shows they're not a bunch of daddy's girls."

Hiei and Yukina came back from where they had been browsing the shoe section. Yukina was carrying a box, which she shyly set down in front of Shizuru. "I was looking through the shoes, and I found this. Do you think it will do?"

Shizuru picked up the box and opened it, pulling out a narrow black sneaker with white laces. "Converses. Perfect. Yukina, do you know if they have them in other colors?"

"Yes."

"Could you find a pair that's brown-and-pink, another that's dark blue, and another that's gray?"

"Sure, Shizuru." Yukina hurried off. Hiei sat down next to Kurama and closed her eyes as though going to sleep.

"Well, we've got the shoe issue fixed. We could probably find faded jeans at a secondhand clothing store and cut holes in them. Just a few more hours, and we'll be done!"

Yusuke couldn't help but groan. _This is going to be one hell of a long day._

* * *

At five in the evening, they finally got back to Kuwabara's house. Everyone was exhausted, but Botan, Keiko, Shizuru, and Yukina were exhilarated with their success. The guys-turned-girls just wanted to sleep their nightmare away. 

Keiko, suddenly thinking of something, turned to Kurama. "What are you going to tell your mother?"

Kurama froze. "Oh, dear. I hadn't thought of that."

Hiei snorted through her nose. "Fox, just tell her that you're practicing for a competition and won't be able to return home for a few months. It is the truth."

Yusuke stared at him for a minute. "Geez, Hiei, you sure you've never gone to school before?"

"Yes."

"Positive?" Yusuke needled her friend.

"Detective! Shut up!"

After Kurama had made her phone call home (disguising her voice to sound more like a male), Botan laid out the clothes they'd purchased on the couch. Yusuke raised an eyebrow. "What's the athletic shorts for?" she asked. "And the swimsuits?"

"There are a few events to show off physical skill and athleticism," Keiko explained. "And there's also a swimsuit competition at the beginning of each round so that the audience can meet all of the teams."

Yusuke gulped. "Audience?"

"Of course. It isn't just the judges' vote that counts. You have to charm the masses and get them to root for you!" Botan exclaimed, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Now you guys – girls – had better to change for bed. We're going to go to the studio to meet Ren tomorrow morning so that you can start working on the choreography of your presentations. We can buy some casual clothes later, since those are the last priority, but I know that you'll need them for the academic events."

Yusuke exchanged anxious gazes with Kuwabara. Neither of them were good in school – Kurama was the one who was the straight-A student. Botan noticed their looks and laughed.

"Don't worry, Yusuke, Kuwabara. You all go to the academic meetings, but only one of you will actually participate in it. And if I'm not mistaken, you will be choosing Kurama, right?"

Yusuke nodded. "Obviously."

"Good. Well, I'd better get back to Spirit World and pick up Ren. See you all tomorrow, and don't forget to wear good exercise clothes!"

"Sure, Botan. Good night."

* * *

Well, finally cranked that chapter out. I know that it was sort of crappy, but the only way I could've made it longer was if I described the _entire_ shopping scene, and I did not want to do that. I don't know about all of you, but I absolutely _hate_ stories that have shopping scene after shopping scene. Those are so stupid. 

REVIEW!


	4. Studio Fun

New chapter! This is the farthest I've gotten in a story so far!

I'm currently having a bit of a writer's block on Homework ga Owaranai, which is going to be the revised Maintaining Equilibrium. I promise I'll try and get that out once I finish this story, which I LOVE, by the way. This is the best idea I've come up with yet!

**DISCLAIMER**: Obviously I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. If I did, why do you think I'm wasting my time writing fanfiction?

**Yusuke**: Cause you like torturing us?

…Please don't make me seem worse than I really am.

**Yusuke**: The truth hurts.

* * *

**SHE'S THE MAN  
**_By Kohaku Minamoto  
_  
**Chapter 4. Studio Fun**

* * *

Yusuke stared at herself in the mirror. "Kurama…"

The fox looked up from tying her tennis shoes. "What?"

"I've just realized…I can practically see through my shirt."

"…What?"

Yusuke spun to face Kurama, pointing at her chest. "How'd you get your boobs to not to look like they're on display for every guy to see? I mean, I can't deny that I like sneaking a peek, but it's just gross to be walking around like this!"

Kurama shrugged. "There is a simple solution."

"What?"

"Just put on the underwear that the girls bought for you. It should fit. Mine did."

Yusuke's eyes looked like they were going to burst out of her head. "You're…wearing…girls' underwear?"

"Yusuke, please don't look so surprised."

"GEEZ!"

"Hiei and Kuwabara are doing it too, if that makes you feel any better."

"Hiei and Kuwabara? WHAT THE HELL!"

"Yusuke, keep your voice down." Kurama handed a bag to the irate brunette and pushed her towards the bathroom. "Just go and change. You'll find everything you need there."

"I still can't believe that you want me to wear a bra."

"Girls do it all the time. I'm sure you'll manage."

"You sound like you're talking from experience."

"I am. After all, I've been turned into a girl. What do you think?"

"Grr…I hate it when you're always right…"

* * *

Late morning found the four Spirit Detectives and Botan standing in front of a studio that had been rented for a day from the university. All four were dressed the same – tank tops, volleyball shorts, and tennis shoes, though they were all wearing long jackets over them, in order to, as Yusuke said, preserve some semblance of masculinity.

Though not in so many words.

Botan turned around and looked at her companions. "Yusuke, Kuwabara, I can't believe that you two are just going to go in with your hair all over the place like that."

"Why can't we?" Yusuke shot back. "Hiei's doing it."

"Not anymore." Kurama seized Hiei by the arm before the fire apparition could react and pulled out a hairtie that she had gotten from Shizuru. She managed to pull the majority of Hiei's hair into a short ponytail but left the rest of the unruly strands to hang loose and frame Hiei's face in a tasteful manner. Hiei gingerly touched her new hairdo and glared at Kurama.

"Don't ever do that again, fox."

Kurama smiled sweetly. "I can't guarantee that, I'm afraid." Behind him, Botan was wrestling Yusuke the ground the ground, amid tortured screams from the darker-haired girl and raucous laughter from Kuwabara, who had tied her hair back immediately in order to spare herself a repeat of Yusuke's fate. She was surprisingly good at it, and when Kurama inquired, Kuwabara simply shrugged and said that Shizuru used to experiment with her hair when she was little. It was only natural that she learned.

Botan was finally able to force Yusuke's thick hair into a ponytail and stood up, panting. "I wonder where Ren is?" she wondered. "She should be here by now."

As if in answer, a portal appeared right in front of them and a ferrygirl flew out of it on an oar. She was a little shorter than Botan, with dark green hair that was cut just below her chin. Her blue eyes glittered with shrewd intelligence, and she had the lithe, graceful build of a dancer. She was dressed in athletic shorts, a dark blue windbreaker, and flat, practical shoes.

Yusuke stared. "But…but she's just a kid!"

Botan rolled her eyes. "She's the only person good enough to teach you," she explained slowly. "A real teacher would've been too much of a risk."

Ren grinned and held out a slim hand. "Hi, I'm Ren!" she said. "You must be Yusuke, right?"

"Uh…yeah…"

They entered the building and Ren flicked on the lights. Botan settled herself in a chair with a pile of application forms while Ren unzipped her jacket and hung it on one of the hooks by the door. Then she became all business.

"All right…we should fill out these forms before we get started on anything so that we'll know what we need to do." Ren pulled a piece of paper out of Botan's grasp and scanned it. "Let's see… on the first day of the regionals, there's a swimsuit competition, and then they get right down to business with an academics competition, in which one person from each team competes. The top ten teams with the highest scores then go on to conduct an athletic performance which they have independently created. The top five teams wrap up the entire thing with a performance of a modern musical piece, and three teams are chosen to go onto the next round."

"Sounds difficult," Yusuke said.

"Well, obviously. I'm sure the academics competition won't be too hard for you. Do you already have someone chosen for that?"

All eyes went to Kurama, who shrugged calmly. "I'll do it, I suppose."

"Great. Just remember to study hard. Now…the swimsuit competition is probably the most important because it is the first impression that you give the crowd. You'll want to look really good – not prudish, but not slutty either."

"I am _not_ going out there in a swimsuit," Yusuke protested vehemently.

"I agree with the detective. I refuse to participate in such activities," Hiei grumbled, crossing her arms.

"Hiei…" Kurama looked slightly exasperated. Ren sighed.

"Koenma told me you had a difficult one…" she said to no one in particular.

Botan shoved a brochure in Hiei's face. "A year ago, a group of teens won the grand prize with a landslide score," she said, folding her arms. "They are called Eternal Winter, and they will be your toughest opponents, as they are competing again this year. Their abilities are equal to and exceed yours – they're pretty, charming, talented, and they're natural girls to boot. If you want to beat them, I suggest you get your rear in gear and actually participate."

There was an awkward silence in which no one spoke.

"Wow…Botan, I never knew you had it in you," Ren said sarcastically. Botan tittered, embarrassed.

"Oh…it's nothing."

Hiei looked truly offended, but didn't make any comment. Ren sighed with some relief.

"Botan tells me that you've already got your swimsuits, so we'll skip over that. So tell me." Ren sat down in a chair, putting her elbows on the table and resting her chin on top of her folded hands. "Do you have any strong points in terms of athletics?"

"Ren, you sound so much like an adult that it's scary," Botan commented, laughing.

"I know," Yusuke agreed, eyeing the shorter girl. "It's like a grownup stuck inside a child's body."

"Hey, I resent that," Ren retorted. "But back to my original question. Anything?"

"Well, Kuwabara and I are mostly strength, but I'm a little faster than he – she – is," Yusuke said. "Kurama's…acrobatics are pretty good, and Hiei's _really_ fast."

"Well, that's good," Ren replied. "According to what I've read, one of the main events in the national round is a relay race, so speed will be good for that. Does anyone have an idea for what you can do for the athletics competition?"

"Martial arts?" Kuwabara suggested tentatively. Ren snapped her fingers.

"That would be perfect, since all of you are natural fighters. You could even make up your own fighting routine! Freestyle, you know?"

Yusuke smirked and cracked her knuckles. "Oh, yeah, we're a bunch of crazy fighters. You don't need to worry about us."

"That's exactly what we're worried about, right there," Ren pointed out. "If you're not coordinated, then you'll fail. Maybe split-second decisions worked when you were fighting demons, but it won't work when you have an audience." She waved a hand, and a notebook materialized midair. Ren pulled a pencil out of thin air as well, flipping the notebook to a blank page. "Now…you can't use Spirit Energy, because to most people you'll just look like you're pointing a random finger and yelling something out."

"Which would look stupid," Yusuke finished. Ren nodded.

"Coordination and synchronization are key here. It would be best if you all dressed in the same thing…?" the ferrygirl looked to Botan. "Do they have athletic clothes?"

"Well, they do have what they're wearing now…"

"They can't wear long coats like that."

"They are wearing something underneath," Botan said. "Volleyball shorts and tank tops."

"Not very 'Cinderella Reject'-like," Ren commented, scribbling something down. "I'll see if Spirit World has anything that'll do. Maybe a leotard or something…"

"Not leotards," Botan protested.

"Why not?"

"Because they'll make them look stupid…"

"Are you saying that you don't trust my judgment?"

"You don't have to get all offended, Ren, I'm just saying that – "

The four other girls looked at each other and sighed. It seemed that asking someone to train them was _causing_ more problems than actually _solving_ them…

* * *

Well, got this out of the way! I'm sorry I haven't uploaded in a while. It's just that I've been _so_ busy with all the projects my teachers have given me…I'm sneaking on at midnight right now. Don't tell my mom!

Review, and I'll try and get chapter five up ASAP!


	5. Sugar, Spice, and Everything Nice

Wow! Thanks for all the reviews! I love you guys so much…you're so much nicer than those so-called friends of mine.

Once again, I'm sneaking on the computer…I'm supposed to be writing some stupid thing on the Patriot Act right now. Don't tell!

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. All right, all right, I'll go do my homework…as soon as I finish this chapter.

**NOTE**: After this is done, I'll be doing a few more oneshots before I move on to other stories. I might even throw in a lighthearted humor fic in there somewhere. HINT: It's a crossover…that's never been done before! And after all that, I'll get onto Homework ga Owaranai, the huge-assed epic that my friend keeps bugging me about…

* * *

**SHE'S THE MAN**  
_By Kohaku Minamoto_

**Chapter 5. Sugar, Spice, and Everything Nice**

* * *

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight," Ren called out, clapping her hands in time with the beat. Yusuke groaned and walked across the room one more time, trying to keep her back straight and her shoulders rolled back. Ren stomped her foot, halting the taller girl.

"You're still walking like a boy," she groused. "Loosen up your hips."

"I can't," Yusuke complained. "Every time I do, my butt starts shaking like I have a pendulum stuffed up my ass."

Kuwabara laughed, but silenced herself when Ren glared at her. The ferrygirl had been tutoring them for the past half-hour and was beginning to reach the end of her patience.

"How is it," she said, pointing at Kurama, "that Kurama can do it, but you can't?"

"Because Kurama looks like a girl, and I don't," Yusuke shot back. Kurama glared.

"You do look like a girlnow, Yusuke."

"I…" Yusuke pouted, which was something she would never have done as a boy. Ren grinned in satisfaction.

"Okay, one more time…"

Exasperated with Ren's commands, Yusuke marched over to her, stopping only two inches from the other girl's face. "Look, if you want someone to do this so badly, then _do it yourself_. I am _through_ practicing this dumb catwalk."

"Yes, you are," Ren said, giggling. Yusuke looked confused.

"Huh?"

"When you walked up to me like that, you finally demonstrated the perfect glide that I wanted." Ren burst into peals of laughter, along with Botan. Yusuke rubbed her head and groaned at the two chortling girls.

"Geez, I wish you two would be more serious…"

"The feeling is mutual," the two ferrygirls said, then started laughing even harder.

Yusuke crossed her arms and tapped her foot on the ground.

Kuwabara scratched the back of her head.

Kurama sighed and massaged the bridge of her nose.

Hiei glared.

All of them were thinking along the same lines.

_We're stuck in girls' bodies, and now the two people who are supposed to be helping us are laughing like a pack of loons. Someone is going to get pretty frickin' hurt if they don't stop soon…_

* * *

Ren and Botan eventually came down from their laughing fit. By that time, the sun was setting and they began walking to Genkai's dojo, where they had decided to stay for the night, seeing as they couldn't return home in their current…conditions.

Ren snapped her fingers in front of Yusuke's face, bringing the Spirit Detective out of her blank stare. "Hey, anyone home?"

Yusuke didn't answer, only grunting once.

"I've finally decided what you all should wear for the athletics competition," Ren announced, her old enthusiasm returning. "It's like the design of a kimono, only there are no sleeves and the skirt only goes down to midthigh and has slits up the sides for maximum movement. Underneath that, you'll just wear loose training pants."

All of them blinked. Yusuke was the one who broke the silence first.

"That's great! We won't have to wear leotards!"

"You have Botan to thank for that," Ren said, glaring at her colleague. "But whatever. I'll get them from Spirit World and bring them by tomorrow morning. We're going to have a _lot_ of work to do…"

* * *

True to her word, Ren showed up at Genkai's with a large gym bag the next morning. The four Spirit Detectives and Botan were sitting on the front porch of the dojo when she arrived. Ren hopped off of her oar, groaning as her bag hit the ground with a _thump_. "Gosh, that thing's heavy." She dragged it up onto the porch and inside, with the others following her.

As soon as they were inside, Ren unzipped the bag. Botan leaned over and pulled out a short, sleeveless black kimono embroidered with silver thread in the design of a dragon that twisted all around the garment. Everyone immediately looked at Hiei, who stared back. "What?"

"It completely matches, you know," Yusuke said slowly. "What with the Dragon of the Darkness Flame and everything."

"That reminds me." Ren pulled a long strip of black silk out of the bag. "I grabbed this because Hiei can't keep wearing that ratty bandage around her arm."

Hiei scowled, heat leaping off her small frame. "Don't touch me."

Ren ignored her, grabbing Hiei's arm and beginning to unravel the bandages. Yusuke gulped. "I wouldn't do that if I were you…"

"Yes," Kurama agreed. "Hiei's bound to unleash the Dragon on you if you do that."

Ren finally pulled the last of the bandages off Hiei's arm and began winding the new piece of cloth around it. "Don't be dumb," she snapped at Hiei, who looked murderous. "This is only temporary. There." She tied off the end and inspected her handiwork. "I think we should do it on the other arm too. Make it look more even, you know?" She reached over and grabbed another piece of cloth and wound it around Hiei's left arm, with the fire apparition scowling the whole time.

Botan pulled another kimono out of the bag. It was emerald green, with gold embroidery that twisted in intricate geometric designs. "I think this one would be good for you, Kurama," she said, handing it to the fox. "It matches your eyes."

"Oh-my-gosh, Kurama, it, like, _so_ matches your eyes," Yusuke mocked Botan, speaking in a fake valley-girl tone. Kuwabara laughed, but stopped when Botan threw a dark blue kimono with silver starbursts all over it at her. Yusuke roared with laughter.

"Oh, my, Kuwabara, doesn't that just match your bruises perfectly?" the brunette laughed, tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. Kuwabara and Ren looked at each other, then reached into the bag and pulled out…

A light pink kimono patterned with delicate red flowers. Yusuke's eyes widened.

"No…no-no-no-no…Kurama's the one who looks good in pink! Give it to her!"

Ren smiled deviously, advancing on the frightened Spirit Detective. "Just calm down, Yusuke, and I promise this won't hurt….much."

* * *

Ten seconds later, terrified screams filled the air.

* * *

Ten minutes later, they were still there.

* * *

"Yusuke, stop screaming!" Ren said in a commanding tone. "It sounds like we're killing you!"

"You basically did! No self-respecting guy wears pink!"

"Thanks a lot, Yusuke," Kurama said dryly. She was dressed in the green kimono, wearing soft, cream-colored training pants and a gold-colored sash around her waist.

"Except for Kurama!"

Kuwabara finished tying the silver sash around her own waist and stood up. "How do I look?" she asked, twirling around. Ren clapped her hands.

"Great! I knew I made a good choice in getting those cream-colored pants!"

"Geez, Kuwabara, you're turning into a girl," Yusuke muttered. Botan rapped her on the head.

"She _is_ a girl now, silly."

"My mistake," Yusuke said innocently. She glanced at Hiei, who had somehow been forced into costume by Ren, Botan, and Kurama. "My, my, Hiei, don't you look pretty today!" she cooed unconvincingly. Hiei glowered.

"Shut your mouth, detective."

"Aw, is wittle Hiei getting angwy?" Yusuke said in a baby tone. Hiei crossed her arms across her chest and grunted.

"Well, now that all of you are dressed, we should do your hair in the best possible way before the performance," Ren interrupted the banter between the two girls. Yusuke immediately shut up, edging away from Ren.

"Oh, no. Botan nearly _scalped_ me last time."

"That's because you wouldn't stop moving," Ren said, pulling a bottle of mousse (the hair kind, people, not the chocolate kind) from who-knows-where, along with a comb. She sprayed the contents of the bottle on her hands and grabbed Hiei's hair before the fire apparition could react.

"What is this disgusting substance, girl?" Hiei demanded, feeling the coldness of the mousse seep into her scalp.

"It's called mousse," Kurama supplied. "A human hair product."

"What is it for?" Hiei added a noncommittal grunt when she saw the slight smile on Kurama's face. Obviously, she was curious about the mousse…

But damned if she'd admit it.

"It's for your hair," Ren said, tugging on locks of Hiei's spiky hair and combing them down with generous amounts of mousse. "Seriously," she huffed as they sprang back up again, "don't you use conditioner?"

"I don't have time for such trivial matters."

"Well, start using it," Ren hissed, waving her hand and making a pearly white bottle materialize in midair. She handed it to Kurama, who inspected it with a puzzled expression.

"L'Oreal Paris Vive? For curly hair?" Kurama looked up at Ren with a questioning look on her face. "But Hiei has straight hair."

"Conditioner for curly hair is stronger than conditioner for straight hair," Ren explained, giving up on Hiei's hair and moving on to Kuwabara. "Make sure she uses it once a day. Comb in thoroughly, leave in for one minute, then rinse out," she instructed while weaving Kuwabara's red-gold hair into a French braid.

Kurama sighed and set the bottle on the couch. Botan came over to her, a comb in her hand and multiple scrunchies wound around her wrist. "Kurama, could I do your hair?" she asked. Kurama nodded resignedly, then looked at Yusuke. "What about Yusuke?" she asked.

"Tonight. Dinner. Drug in drink," Botan said, grinning deviously as she pulled Kurama's hair back into a half-ponytail. Kurama massaged her temples for what felt like the umpteenth time that day.

She really wasn't enjoying the experience of being a girl…

* * *

After the clothing-and-hair fiasco, Botan and Ren decided it was time for the Spirit Detectives to get a workout. Not quite knowing what she was doing, Ren walked up to Genkai as she came into the room.

"Hello, Master Genkai," she said politely, bowing. "Could I ask a favor of you?"

"Go ahead," the old woman said, staring slightly at Yusuke. Even though the Spirit Detectives had been at her house overnight, she still couldn't quite wrap her mind around the notion that Yusuke had become a _girl_.

"Could you make sure that these four get some exercise every day?" Ren asked sweetly, completely oblivious to the horrified look and Yusuke's face and the exaggerated motions that she was making. Yusuke drew her finger across her throat repeatedly, getting more and more frustrated as Ren ignored her.

"Sure." Genkai smirked. "I'll be happy to."

"Great!" Ren clapped her hands. "Just make sure that they don't injure themselves, okay?"

"Can't guarantee that, girly," Genkai said, glancing at Yusuke, who seemed to be comatose with fear by now. "But I'll try."

* * *

Dun dun dun dun! Training with Genkai! Oh, the horror!

Well, I'm off to work on Homework ga Owaranai. I want to get it out as soon as possible. Ja ne, everyone, and don't forget to drop a review in the review box!


	6. Album Hits

Ta-da! Chapter six of She's the Man has arrived!

Thanks for reviewing, once again, but it's kind of sad how so many people read this story (thanks for taking the time to read my crappy fics; I really appreciate it), but don't even drop a few words. I'd like to know how I'm doing!

**Yusuke**: Kohaku doesn't own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the songs mentioned in this chapter. Now all of you, review so that she'll write faster and turn us back into guys!

Aw, Yusuke, don't you like being a girl? It suits you so well!

**Yusuke**: …You're so going to die someday.

* * *

**SHE'S THE MAN**  
_By Kohaku Minamoto_

**Chapter 6. Album Hits**

* * *

Three weeks had already passed, and Yusuke felt fed up with all the training she had been going through. Every day she got up at five in the morning to run twenty times up and down the steps in front of the temple, only to meet Ren at the door. The ferrygirl was becoming more and more ruthless with her training, and her methods were just as cruel and unusual as Genkai's, if not more so. 

At the moment, Yusuke was tottering around in five-inch stilettos. Ren had had the bright idea of having them walk around in heels that got progressively higher and higher in order to work on their strides, even though (as Yusuke pointed out multiple times), they would be wearing sneakers most of the time. Yusuke walked once around the room, then sat down on the couch, muttering profanity under her breath. Ren was currently missing-in-action, having some kind of emergency to take care of up in Spirit World.

"Ah! We have a problem!" Ren burst into the room, startling the occupants of the room. Kuwabara, who had been taking her turn with the high heels, wobbled unsteadily and fell over in a heap.

"Ren! What was that for?"

"Only one week left, and we still haven't gotten the songs for your musical performance!" Ren wailed. "How are we supposed to get all of you ready to sing in a week's time?"

"Work our asses off?" Yusuke said sarcastically, then immediately regretted her choice of words. Ren pulled the ever-present gym bag off her shoulder and set it down on the floor, unzipping it with fumbling hands.

"Let's see here…you need one modern musical piece…"

"What do you have in there?" Kurama asked curiously.

"Yeah, sounds like you're carrying broken beer bottles around," Yusuke said. "You don't drink, do you?"

"Don't be stupid," Ren snapped, pulling a boombox and a CD jewel case out. Yusuke stared.

"How do you keep all that stuff in there?"

"Spirit World technology," she said distractedly, waving a hand. "Top secret stuff that I can't tell you."

Ren plugged the boombox into the wall and inserted the CD. An American song immediately came on, and Kurama raised an eyebrow. "Why this?"

"I made a few mix CDs last night. American music is very popular right now. Do any of you understand English?"

"I'm relatively fluent," Kurama admitted.

"I know some," Kuwabara offered unexpectedly, receiving a strange look from Yusuke. "What? We learned it in school! You should know it too!"

"I should?" Yusuke scratched her head.

"Maybe you skipped that day, Urameshi," Kuwabara said cuttingly as the song 'I Can't Help Falling in Love with You' blasted over the speakers. Ren ignored the two teens, looking strained as she listened closely to the CD. She slammed her fist down on the table.

"No, no, and _no_!" she yelled. "We can't have you singing this!" She punched a button, taking the CD to the next song.

"Perhaps you should try Japanese music instead…?" Kurama asked.

"No! We just need one song…" Ren pushed the 'up' button furiously. All of a sudden, her face lit up and she froze. "Wait!" She pressed the 'down' button one time and turned the volume up. "Listen!"

**_When I was just a little girl  
My momma used to tuck me into bed  
And she'd read me a story_**

"And?" Kurama prompted.

"This is 'Cinderella' by the Cheetah Girls!" Ren said excitedly while female voices sang in the background. "It goes perfectly with your 'Cinderella Rejects' theme! You can sing this for the regionals! Here." She handed each of them a sheet neatly typed with English words. "Lyrics."

**_I don't wanna be like Cinderella  
Sittin' in a dark cold dusty cellar  
Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free  
I don't wanna be like someone waiting  
For a handsome prince to come and save me  
Oh I will survive, unless somebody's by my side  
Don't wanna be no no no one else  
I'd rather rescue myself_**

"Oh, I almost forgot." Ren rummaged around in the pocket of her jeans, dragging out four thin silver chains with small silver lockets on them. "These are your communicators for when you're on stage," she explained, handing one to each of the Spirit Detectives. "Botan and I each have one, so you'll be able to contact us if you ned it. I've also gotten them programmed so that when you say a specific word, the language you're speaking will switch."

"So they'll help us when we're trying to sing American songs?" Kurama asked, inspecting the delicate trinket in her hand.

"Exactly," Ren said, nodding. "Now put them around your necks, then say 'spirit.'"

"'Spirit?'" Yusuke said skeptically. There was a sudden burst of energy, and Yusuke looked around.

"What happened?" Ren shook her head.

"I can't understand you."

"What do you mean you can't understand me!"

"Spirit," Kurama uttered, creating the same energy that Yusuke had just a moment before. "You're speaking English now, Yusuke. Nearly perfectly, I may add."

"So how do we change this back?" Yusuke snapped at Ren. The ferrygirl frowned.

"Spirit. Could you repeat what you just said?"

"How do we change the language back to Japanese?"

"Say the word 'demon.'"

Yusuke and Kurama repeated what Ren had said, then sighed. "That was an interesting experience," Kurama stated.

"Not very fun, though."

Ren pulled the necklace off before speaking again. "'Spirit' is to turn the language converter on, and 'demon' is to turn it off. Say either my name, Botan's name, or one of your own names once to speak to that person. Say 'out' to terminate the link," she instructed. "The worldwide competition is held in America, so you won't have to worry about changing the language." She put the necklace back on. "Now it's time to practice singing. You should really be glad that you can just use a karaoke CD for background music."

For some reason, Yusuke didn't feel too glad at the moment…

* * *

"All right." Ren placed one form down on the table, motioning for the Spirit Detectives to come over. Yusuke threw down the microphone and scowled. Acting as 'Galleria' of the Cheetah Girls for the past two hours was not exactly her idea of 'fun.' She stalked over to Ren. 

"What?"

"Botan already filled out all of your application forms, but this is the final one. This lists all of your individual names, not just the team name, as well as the list of events. I've got everything down already, but – "

Yusuke cut her off. "Then why do you need us?"

"I'm getting to that! See, we can't have you going up on stage as 'Yusuke Urameshi, Kazuma Kuwabara, Kurama, and Hiei.' Those are guys' names. So we're going to modify your original names so that they sound more like girls' names." Ren pulled a piece of paper out from her back pocket. "Here…I've written a few down…"

And so just like that, Yusuke Urameshi became Yukiko Irazumi.

Kazuma Kuwabara became Kasumi Kanakuma.

Kurama became Koharu Kinomoto.

But what Hiei became just isn't going to be in this chapter. You'll just have to wait until the next!

* * *

Haha! Yes, I know I'm evil. ((Takes a bow)) And I'm pretty damn proud of it. What is Hiei's new name? You'll just have to send in lots of reviews and maybe…just maybe…I'll put it in the next one! See you then! 


	7. A Little Wager

Chapter seven! I am on a roll! Thank you Spring Break!

By the way…I've started a few more stories. I know, I know…I'm supposed to get Homework ga Owaranai up ASAP, but I had so many ideas! I couldn't resist. I'm going to put the choices at the very bottom, so that you can skip this and get to the story. BUT PLEASE! GIVE ME SOME OF YOUR OPINIONS!

**DISCLAIMER**: Don't own. Gotta run.

**NOTE**: I'd like to give a shoutout to my most loyal reviewer, **nightmare rose**. Thanks for your support!

Grr…one of my reviewers found out my idea for Hiei's name. HOW THE HELL DID YOU KNOW!

* * *

**SHE'S THE MAN**  
_By Kohaku Minamoto_

**Chapter 7. A Little Wager**

* * *

"I still can't believe that you just went and created names for us," Yusuke grumbled to Ren. 

"There was no time to ask you." Ren got out of the car and jumped a little, trying to loosen up her legs. "Now remember – unless you're positive that you're alone,_ always use your new names._"

"I think they're nice names," Botan piped up. "Yukiko, Kasumi, Koharu, and Hina."

Hiei flinched visibly at the sound of the last name. Unbeknownst to the others, Ren had chosen the name that Hiei _least_ wanted to hear.

Her mother's.

_Who would've thought?_ Hiei grumbled inwardly. _I'm stuck in a female body, I'm wearing human clothes, and I'm now named Hina Hitawari. The irony of this reversal is just sickening._

* * *

Perhaps Ren had their best intentions in mind when she brought them to the spa for a 'touchup' the day before the regional rounds began, but the Spirit Detectives were thinking that Ren could not have been more cruel than if she'd decided to yank every strand of hair from their heads, one by one, with a pair of tweezers. 

"I can't believe what you girls will go through just to look good," Yusuke growled, trying to walk without moving her legs too much. That bikini wax had been _torture_ for her, and the feeling of fabric rubbing against her skin was so painful that she had ended up wearing a skirt, something that she wouldn't have normally done.

"But you all look great!" Ren chirped happily, surveying the unhappy-looking group. "Now let's go have some lunch."

"Ura – I mean, Irazumi, are you going to make a habit out of that?" Kuwabara asked, motioning with her eyebrows towards the tank top and miniskirt that Yusuke was wearing.

"Of course not, idiot. This is only…" Yusuke winced. "Temporary…"

"You're attracting stares though, Yukiko," Kurama stated, glancing around.

It was true – teenaged boys kept turning to look at the six girls as they walked past.

"Well, I think they're looking at you, _Koharu_," Yusuke shot back.

"Maybe they're looking at Hina?" Kuwabara suggested.

The fire apparition didn't say a word, though she was conscious that her appearance had changed a lot over the course of a month. Kurama had…uh, _convinced_ her to start using the conditioner that Ren had supplied, and now her hair laid flat and smooth. It bothered her that she was looking more and more feminine, and the obvious stares she was receiving weren't helping much either.

"Hey, how about we start a little bet?" Yusuke asked, shaking Hiei out of her thoughts. "Just for fun, you know?"

"What do you propose?" Kurama inquired with a slight tone of curiosity in her voice.

"Depends what you want to bet," Yusuke replied slyly.

"How about winner gets to think up something for the losers to do? Anything at all, besides revealing themselves as a demon and/or a male."

"Here's the deal." Yusuke leaned in to talk to her friends while they walked. "The one who receives the most date requests from guys wins. We start the game over every time we move on to the next round, which means that we play three times total. Flirting is allowed."

"And…why do you want to do this?" Kurama looked amused.

"Because I'm bored!"

"All right. I'm in," Kuwabara stated.

"I am as well. Hina?"

"Hmph. Why not?"

"All right, girls," Yusuke smirked and held her hand out. "May the best woman win."

* * *

Kurama had never actually been that worried about her appearance at any time in her life. Being a fox demon, she was naturally well-groomed and looked attractive in most clothes (if she did say so herself). 

But now she was concerned that it just wasn't going to cut it in Yusuke's new game.

She sat down next to Hiei in the café and surreptitiously checked her reflection in the mirror. Wide, innocent-looking emerald eyes looked back at her from a delicate-featured face framed with silky, flaming red hair. The dark blue, shortsleeved polo shirt and khaki Capris she was wearing gave her a distinctly sporty look, only accentuated by the fact that her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail and she was wearing the brown-and-pink Converses that Shizuru had bought.

Surveying her appearance made Kurama feel slightly better about the bet. Hiei glanced at her out of the corner of her red eyes and gave a slightly disapproving snort. "What's the matter, fox? Got mascara in your eye?" she asked cuttingly.

"Now, Hina, do you really want to end up as Yukiko's slave?" Kurama retorted lightly, propping her elbows up on the table, eyes twinkling with laughter.

"You should be more worried about ending up as _my_ slave, Kinomoto."

A dark-haired waiter that looked fresh out of high school drifted over to their table. "M-may I take your order?" he stuttered, stunned by the girls before him. Kurama flashed a brilliantly white smile, making the poor boy's knees shake with nervousness.

"I'll have a vegetarian sandwich and a bottle of water, please," she said sweetly. Yusuke scowled. She was _not_ about to be outdone. She waited for Kuwabara, Hiei, Ren, and Botan to place their orders, then leaned over to whisper in the waiter's ear.

"Vanilla sundae with hot fudge. Don't tell my friends." Yusuke added in a naughty giggle for additional effect, then withdrew with a satisfied smile on her face. The waiter escaped over to the counter, where he commenced to babble to a group of interested colleagues about his experience. Kurama's sensitive ears caught a few words that sounded suspiciously like 'gorgeous redhead with stunning emerald eyes. She smiled, but frowned when she heard the words 'brown-eyed hottie' and 'long, luscious legs.'

Hiei shotKurama a glance that clearly said 'this isn't over yet, you just wait.' The fox countered with a look that obviously meant '_you_ just wait.'

Yusuke leaned back in her chair and met Kurama's gaze with a cocky smirk. Ren, catching onto their game, grinned slightly.

"Looks like we're going to have a mini-competition," she whispered to Botan, who nodded, eager to see more drama.

* * *

"Well, that was a good lunch," Botan commented, placing her napkin on her plate. "Shall we go pay now?" 

"How about I go?" Kuwabara suggested. "My treat."

Hiei looked unconcerned, but Kurama, an expert at reading the fire apparition's emotions, could tell that she was seething inside at the fact that Kuwabara had beaten her to the punch. The tall girl hopped out of her seat and walked over to the counter, hips swaying slightly with her confident stride.

Yusuke stood up and nudged Ren on the shoulder. "Let's go." She shuffled a few steps in her new gray Converses, waiting for her friends to follow.

They followed Kuwabara to the counter, where she was talking to the same waiter that had taken their orders. The psychic paid, then turned and followed her friends out the door.

"Wait!"

The waiter looked kind of embarrassed, but stuttered on anyway to the person everyone least expected him to talk to. "Would you go out with me? Please?"

The girl he was talking to looked like she was genuinely considering his offer. "Oh, I'd love to, but…I'm kind of participating in a competition, and I'm not going to be free. But maybe you'll go…?"

"Sure!"

Yusuke stared, her eyes bugging out slightly as the group walked out of the café and down the road. "Geez! How did you do that? You didn't even sound like yourself!"

Hiei smirked, and Yusuke could see the all-too-familiar devilish fire light up the shorter girl's eyes.

"Now you see what you're up against, detective."

"But you didn't even talk to him! And," she glanced at the plain black T-shirt, dark blue jeans, and black Converses that Hiei was wearing, "you have no fashion sense!"

"Too bad, Yukiko. Even with all of your _natural charms_," Hiei snorted at the words 'natural charms,' "you're never going to be able to beat me."

Yusuke growled quietly and crossed her arms, scowling dangerously. "We'll see about that, Hina."

And thus, the war began.

* * *

Here's the stories you're going to vote on. Which one do you think I should write first? 

**Homework ga Owaranai** – Under the rule of Enki, the demons and the humans have lived in peace. But the next Demon World Tournament is fast approaching, and the balances are about to shift. Will anyone be able to maintain the balance? Or will everything fall into chaos? Action/Adventure/Drama

**Legacy** – We all know Karasu. Tall, dark, gruesome, and has a fetish for Kurama's…hair? But why? Something must've made him that way, and I intend to find out how. Part of the Redemption series. Angst/Romance

**Borrowed Time** – Suzaku was defeated by Yusuke Urameshi and assumed as dead. Now, after several years, his body is rediscovered in Human World by a band of teens that may change his outlook on humankind forever…Part of the Redemption series. Action/Adventure/Drama

**Double Identity** – Fushigi Yuugi and Yu Yu Hakusho crossover, AU. The Suzaku and Seiryuu branches of a secret Chinese intelligence agency have been longtime rivals, and yet they are now required to unite against one common enemy. One phone call to Tokyo and reinforcements are on the way. Little do they know that the Tokyo agents are not exactly of this world… Action/Adventure/Drama

Well, there you are. Vote in your reviews, send me a PM…I DON'T CARE! JUST HELP ME HERE, PEOPLE!


	8. Let the Games Begin

Yay! Thanks for all the reviews, everyone!

Just one little problem…only one person actually sent in an opinion about which story I would do next. I NEED YOUR OPINIONS! PLEASE!

Visit chapter seven and read the author's message at the bottom if you haven't already. IF YOU DON'T REVIEW AND GIVE ME MORE OPINIONS, I'M GOING TO STOP WRITING THIS STORY!

**DISCLAIMER**: Uh, yeah, if you haven't figured out that I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho yet, there must be something wrong with you…

* * *

**SHE'S THE MAN**  
_By Kohaku Minamoto_

**Chapter 8. Let the Games Begin**

* * *

On the morning of the first round of the competition, Yusuke woke up with butterflies in her stomach. 

_Huh? That's weird,_ she thought as she pulled a gray hooded sweatshirt over her head. _I've been in death-defying battles before and I haven't even been scared. Must be because I know what could happen if we lose…_

Images of herself staying as a female for four years danced through her head, making the brunette shiver and dress quicker. She shot out of the room, nearly mowing Ren over on her way out. "Oops," she said apologetically to the shorter girl.

"No problem." Ren got to her feet and brushed herself off. "We're leaving in half an hour, so I suggest you get some breakfast and grab your things before we leave." She paused as she turned to go. "Oh…and don't wear your swimsuit under your regular clothes…and good luck."

"Thanks," Yusuke muttered. "We're gonna need it."

* * *

They had barely made it out of the dojo when Kurama suddenly realized something. "Who's driving? We took a taxi last time, but it's highly doubtful that they'll come up here again…" 

"Oh, that." Ren pressed her lips together, thinking hard. "Um…"

"You mean we have no way to get there?" Kurama asked incredulously.

"Well, we _could_ always walk…"

"And get there at noon?"

"Or you could ride with Botan and me. On oars, you know?" Ren pulled the oar out of the air and perched on it, hovering a few inches off the ground. "Four of you and four bags, so…" She glanced at Botan.

"Ren's oar is kind of shorter than mine, since she's smaller. Hiei and Yusuke, go with Ren. Kurama and Kuwabara can come with me."

"Just hold on tight to your bags and hope you don't fall," Ren called out as the Spirit Detectives took their seats.

"And _hope_ we don't fall?" Yusuke gulped.

"Don't worry, we'll catch you if you do…maybe." The last part was said in an undertone.

"Well, let's go!" the two ferrygirls steered their oars into the air, flying higher and higher until all that anyone could see of them was a strange, slightly distorted shape soaring among the clouds.

* * *

"We're here!" Ren called out. "Botan, we should land behind some trees or something." She went into a steep dive that made Yusuke's stomach rise up into her throat. She swallowed hurriedly and tried not to puke. 

_This is worse than a rollercoaster._

Ren coasted gently to the ground, hopping off her oar. It dematerialized, leaving Hiei and Yusuke without seats. Hiei managed to get her footing before touching the ground, while Yusuke simply fell rather ungracefully onto her backside. She got up, grimacing.

"Remind me never to ride with Ren ever again," she muttered. The green-haired girl scowled and slapped the boy-turned-girl on the shoulder.

"Maybe I should just leave you at Genkai's so that you'll stay as a girl for four years," she threatened.

"No-no-no! I'm sorry!"

"What a crowd!" Botan said enthusiastically, looking at the long line to the entrance. She looked back at the four Spirit Detectives, looking them up and down.

"You all look marvelous, but…Hiei…" she winced. "What happened to your hair?"

"I…ran out of conditioner," the fire apparition said emotionlessly.

Truth to be told, she'd gotten annoyed with using it every night and had dumped the contents down the toilet. But no one needed to know that.

"Oh…all right." Botan put a finger on her chin and looked thoughtful. "With that black T-shirt and those jeans I guess it could pass as sort of tomboy-chic…"

"What about the rest of us?" Yusuke asked, pouting slightly. She was wearing gray Converses, a dark blue tank top, and cutoff shorts. Botan patted her friend on the shoulder.

"You look just fine, Yusuke. Now let's get this show on the road."

* * *

"Team name?" 

"Cinderella Rejects."

"Members?"

"Four team members, manager, and trainer."

"Verification?"

Ren wordlessly handed the security man a card, which he scanned through the computer. A metallic _ding_ deemed the ID card genuine and allowed all six girls to pass through. The security man handed Ren a sheet of paper and bowed. "Have a nice day, ladies."

Yusuke shifted the bag on her shoulder, looking wide-eyed around the building.

"Classy place."

"It was rented to the Yachiro family, who is hosting this competition," Ren explained quietly. "Your rooms are somewhere upstairs," she said, glancing down at the sheet of paper in her hand. "Number 24." She pointed to the elevators on their right. "Let's go and get ready. The swimsuit competition is starting in less than an hour."

The six of them stepped into the enormous elevator with five other teenage girls. One of them, a blue-eyed brunette, eyed Kurama up and down, then stuck out a hand with a fake, white-toothed smile. "Hi, I'm Raquel Shihino," she said. "Can I ask who you are?"

"Koharu Kinomoto," Kurama said blandly, shaking Racquel's hand in the Western style.

"I totally love your hair," Racquel gushed, waving her long-nailed fingers around. "Is it your natural color?"

"Yes…"

All of a sudden, Kurama was incredibly eager to get out of the elevator.

"Racquel, stop talking to her," a blond behind Racquel snapped. Kurama smiled.

"No, it's perfectly fine."

"I wasn't doing it for you, amateur," the blond huffed, fluffing her hair out. "We don't fraternize with the enemy."

"Could you please introduce yourself?" Ren asked politely through clenched teeth.

"Be quiet, little girl. Don't speak unless you're spoken to."

"That's not very polite, you know," Botan admonished.

"Please, Pandora, leave them alone." A girl with short black hair cut like a boy's laid a hand on Pandora's shoulder and dragged her to the back of the elevator. "I'm sorry about that," she said, frowning apologetically. "Pandora's not the most sociable girl around."

"Don't worry, Hina's not exactly Ms. Charming Hostess either," Yusuke said, earning a slight glare from Hiei. She smiled and held her hand out. "Hi, I'm Yukiko Irazumi."

"My name's Sakura Li," the girl said, shaking Yusuke's hand. "I'm their trainer and manager." She motioned towards Racquel and Pandora with her eyebrows.

Just then, the elevator stopped moving and the door opened. "I guess we'll see you around," Yusuke said, walking out the door. Ren, the last person to leave, stuck her foot in the way of the elevator doors, making them open again.

"I just wanted to know. From what team are you?"

"Oh, we're from Eternal Winter," Sakura said cheerfully, waving. "Good luck in the competition! We'll see you soon!"

Ren withdrew her foot, allowing the elevator doors to bang shut. She stood in shock for a moment, then spun around to face her friends, who were all waiting for her.

"Don't you get it?" she asked in a furious whisper. "They're from _Eternal Winter_! The winner of last year's tournament!" She looked around for any possible eavesdroppers, then waved her hand, drawing a newspaper clipping out of thin air. Yusuke leaned over her shoulder, reading out loud.

"'Four fabulous teams win the worldwide competition with a landslide score, setting a new winning record in the Yachiro Annual Girls' Competition. Comprised of half-Spanish Racquel Shihino, American beauty Pandora Anderson,'" Yusuke snorted, "'Petite French lady Amy Guinard, and Tokyo gymnast Audrey Fujiwara, the team Eternal Winter is considered to be the favorites for next year's competition.' What the hell? Most of them aren't even from _Japan,_ let alone this area!"

"They want to make it easy on themselves," Ren reasoned. "Big places like Tokyo have glamorous stars that are hard to beat. In order to win the regionals and move onto the nationals, Eternal Winter has come here, expecting a bunch of first-timers."

"Well, I'm sure as hell not gonna let that brat Pandora beat me," Yusuke ground out, cracking her knuckles. "I'd love to give that girl a piece of my mind."

"That's the spirit!" Botan yelled, shooting her hand up in the air. "Now let's go and kick those girls' butts, team!"

As the team engaged in a round of high fives (excluding Hiei, of course), both Ren and Kurama couldn't keep a strange thought out of their minds.

_The newspaper clipping didn't even mention Sakura, and there's something about that girl that just doesn't quite click with the rest of the team…_

* * *

Oh! The plot thickens! Mystery is afoot! 

Sorry for not updating for a while. I can't believe Spring Break will be over so soon! Wah!

You know the drill. REVIEW!


	9. Does This Make Me Look Fat?

Chapter nine!

Nothing much to say…except that Spring Break is ending. Boohoo!

**Kurama**: Kohaku does not own Yu Yu Hakusho.

Hey, I just noticed! Kurama's girl name's like mine!

**Kurama**: Wonderful powers of deduction you have there.

* * *

**SHE'S THE MAN**  
_By Kohaku Minamoto_

**Chapter 9. Does This Make Me Look Fat?**

* * *

Yusuke slowly spun in front of the mirror, surveying her reflection with a critical eye that she did not normally use. She was dressed in a dark purple swimsuit of the halter-top variety with a patterned sarong tied around her waist, her hairpulled back in a ponytail.

"Something wrong, Yusuke?" Kurama asked, coming over.

"Does this – geez! What are you wearing?"

Kurama glanced down at the pale white two-piece patterned with Hawaiian flowers that she was wearing and self-consciously shrugged, smoothing the short skirt-bottom. "This is what the girls bought me," she said defensively.

"Doesn't mean you have to show off that much skin!" Yusuke folded her arms across her chest and scowled. "At least you're not fat," she said grudgingly. "Otherwise my eyes would've been burned out of my head already."

"Did you have something you wanted to ask me?"

"Does this make me look fat?" Yusuke asked, twirling around. Kurama tilted her head to the side, then shook her head.

"You look just like you always do, Yusuke."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oops. I mean…er…you look just fine."

Kuwabara came into the room dressed in a turquoise two-piece similar to Kurama's with a sarong tied around her waist like Yusuke. Yusuke covered her eyes. "Oh! My eyes! My poor virgin eyes!" she cried dramatically. "It burns!"

"Thanks a lot, Urameshi," Kuwabara retorted, her hands on her hips. Her red-gold hair was twisted into a French braid. "I think I look pretty good."

"What a fool," Hiei snorted from inside the bathroom. Yusuke knocked sharply on the door.

"You done in there?"

"Yes."

"Well? Aren't you going to come out and let us see?"

"No."

"Aw, come on!" Yusuke whined.

"Go away, detective."

"What's there to ashamed of, Hiei?" Kurama asked. "We're all girls…at least, now we are."

"Ooh, is the shrimp scared?" Kuwabara teased.

"Don't try to con me into coming out," Hiei snapped. Kurama soundlessly made her way over to the door, plucking a seed from her hair. She pressed a finger to her lips in response to Kuwabara's questioning look and mouthed 'keep her busy' as she gently pushed a tiny bit of her energy into the seed, making tendrils snake through the lock of the door.

"I saw the swimsuit that Shizuru gave you," Yusuke continued badgering the poor Jaganshi, a smile on her face. "You're too short for any of the adult sizes, so she bought a child's for you. Must be pretty embarrassing."

"That's not true," was the muffled response.

"I don't believe you!"

"Believe it, idiot!"

"Why don't you come out and _prove_ it then!"

Kurama stood up, holding the end of the plant in her hand. "Surprise, Hiei," she muttered, pulling her hand back to make the door swing open.

"...Go to hell, fox."

The shortest member of the team was dressed all in black.

Duh.

What made Yusuke stare was the way that Hiei was wearing the swimsuit. She had taken the tank-top style top of a two-piece (patterned with a silver dragon; go figure)and coupled it with a pair of boys' swimming trunks. In the words of Botan, she looked very 'tomboy-chic.'

"Geez, Hiei…"

"What?"

The fire apparition was saved from further teasing by a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" Kurama called.

"It's us," came Shizuru's voice. "Now let us in before I bash the door off its hinges."

Kurama hurried over to the door and swung it open before Shizuru could go through with her threat. Kuwabara's sister, Keiko, and Yukina filed in, followed by Botan and Ren. Keiko grinned when she saw all four Spirit Detectives standing sheepishly against the wall, looking like a group of little boys – ahem, _girls_ – that had been caught playing dressup with their mothers' clothes.

"You all look great!" she said happily. "It's nice that you're actually wearing something over the bottoms of your swimsuits."

"What do you mean?" Kuwabara asked curiously.

"Well…uh…" Keiko flushed and shifted around. "It…"

"No one can see if the swimsuit goes up your butt," Shizuru said bluntly. She placed a cigarette between her lips and lit it. "By the way, there's a pretty big crowd in the audience. Looks like a lot of them are guys that want a chance to see a bunch of cute girls in swimsuits." She smirked, blowing a cloud of smoke into the air. Yusuke snorted and flipped her hair back in an exaggerated motion.

"Well, we wouldn't want to disappoint the boys, would we?" she simpered sarcastically. Ren grinned.

"No we wouldn't, so let's get moving, shall we?"

"We'll be rooting for you in the crowd!" Keiko called. The four Spirit Detectives slipped their shoes on and followed Ren and Botan out the door and into the hallway. Ren spun around and looked seriously at the team.

"You've all got your necklaces, right?"

"Sure."

"Yeah."

"Yes."

"…"

"Hiei?"

"I have the ridiculous thing."

"Good." Ren motioned Botan over. "You guys do your best, 'kay? If you need anything, you know what to do."

"Use the necklaces, right?"

"Yep. Now get out there and kick butt just like you always do." Ren and Botan walked the other way down the hall after they dropped the team off at the entrance to backstage. "See ya later."

"Hey, Kurama," Yusuke muttered as they walked backstage and sat in the section marked 'Cinderella Rejects.'

"What is it?"

"…Is the bet still on?"

"Oh…I think so."

"Because one of the security guys just asked me to go out with him. So…" Yusuke smirked, "I think I'm winning."

"Not necessarily."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because of these." Kurama pulled two tiny pieces of paper out of her hair.

"Do you keep everything in your hair or something?" Yusuke snatched the papers away from her friend and began reading them aloud. "'I love you, my redheaded goddess. Hope you win in the competition.' 'I sit in class, writing problems to solve, but the only thing I can think is one plus one equals LOVE. Good luck, sweetheart.' Oh my god, Kurama."

"Slightly embarrassing."

"Do you plan on answering them?"

"Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. There's no number written anywhere or anything."

"Did Kuwabara get any date requests?"

"I think so. I think it was another anonymous note, but she ran away before I could ask."

"Haha. So it's you in the lead and me, Hiei, and Kuwabara are tied for second. But it doesn't matter, 'cause I'm still gonna win."

Kurama didn't have a chance to answer, because just then the loudspeaker turned on and drowned out all other sounds.

"WELCOME TO THE YACHIRO ANNUAL GIRLS' COMPETITION! WE HAVE A HUGE TURNOUT THIS TIME, WITH TWENTY-FIVE VERY PROMISING TEAMS COMPETING FOR A CHANCE TO WIN THE REGIONALS AND GO ONTO THE NATIONALS ROUND! NOW, PLEASE GIVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO START OFF THE SWIMSUIT COMPETITION!"

A loud chorus of whoops and yells sounded, mostly from the male portion of the audience.

"FIRST OFF, WE HAVE THE TEAM 'UNITY.' THEIR MEMBERS ARE…"

Yusuke tuned out the sound of the loudspeaker, leaning back in her chair and closing her eyes. Kurama was watching the flatscreen TV that showed the teams sashaying across the stage in all their scantily-clad glory, no doubt analyzing the opposing teams and storing the information away for later use. Hiei looked just as bored as Yusuke on Kurama's other side and was picking viciously at a loose thread on the seat of her chair.

"NEXT UP IS 'ETERNAL WINTER,' THE WINNERS OF LAST YEAR'S COMPETITION!"

"Yusuke, we're the team after this one," Kurama said urgently, standing up. The other three mirrored her motion and walked over to the side of the stage.

"NOW HERE'S AN UNUSUAL NAME! WELCOME THE 'CINDERELLA REJECTS,' ONE OF THE TEAMS COMPETING FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS YEAR!"

"All right, girls." Yusuke loosed her arms and took her place at the head of the line. "Let's go and rock the show."

* * *

Cliffie! Haha!

Well, hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Kind of cheesy, I know, but chapter ten will be out soon if you all review!


	10. She's Goin' Down

Whoo! Double-digit chapter, people! Yeah!

Now the fun's really going to begin…

**Hiei**: ((Wearing her swimsuit)) Grr…

**Kurama**: Now, Hiei, it isn't _that_ bad. Kohaku Minamoto does not own Yu Yu Hakusho and both Hiei and I will be very grateful if all of you readers would review so that she will release us from this torture soon…

* * *

**SHE'S THE MAN**  
_By Kohaku Minamoto_

**Chapter 10. She's Goin' Down**

* * *

"AND HERE THEY ARE! KASUMI KANAKUMA, KOHARU KINOMOTO, HINA HITAWARI, AND TEAM CAPTAIN YUKIKO IRAZUMI! FROM THIS LOOKS OF THIS, THE LADIES OF 'ETERNAL WINTER' ARE GOING TO HAVE THEIR WORK CUT OUT FOR THEM!"

"Lovely." Yusuke smirked as she walked down the stage, surrounded by flashing lights and catcalls from the audience. She heard more than one yell of 'you're hot!' and 'could I have your number?'

"NOW GIRLS, TAKE A POSE AND SMILE FOR THE CAMERA!"

"How ridiculous," Hiei muttered. The team slowly glided down to center stage, a spotlight following their every move.

"I thought you loved our team pose," Kurama said innocently.

"Hmph. You thought wrong."

The cameraman waved to them and motioned for them to get into position.

_Everyone's going to love this,_ Yusuke thought as they got into position. She could vaguely recall Ren on the day they had made this up.

_"Look, you'll have a lot of paparazzi after you, so it's best if you have some kind of pose." Ren held a finger to her lips and thought hard. "Oh! Wait! I've got it! Now just stand here..."_

Kurama and Kuwabara, the two tallest, stood back-to-back with their hands held secret-agent style (lock-and-load, people). Hiei folded her arms across her chest and looked away nonchalantly (she had refused to really pose, so Ren had to compromise) as Yusuke hooked one arm around the fire apparition's shoulders and leaned into her, winking one eye at the camera and holding up her free hand as though she was going to shoot her Spirit Gun.

"Bang," was all she said before the camera lights practically blinded them all.

* * *

"Well done, all of you!" Ren threw her arms around all of them, capturing an unwilling Hiei in the process. Botan came running over to them, waving a sheet of paper.

"The pictures just came out! I bought one just in case you wanted to see."

The caption read "the Cinderella Rejects arrive with a 'bang,' as team captain Yukiko Irazumi states." Kuwabara thumped Yusuke playfully on the back.

"How come the rest of us don't get any popularity?" she teased.

"Cause you're ugly, and I'm beautiful," Yusuke joked.

"You guys were great, but Koharu…" Ren grabbed the redhead by the wrist and dragged her off to the rooms. "You'd better get ready. The next round's going to start in fifteen minutes."

"Wup their asses, Koharu!"

"Yeah! What she said!"

Kurama gave a little wave before disappearing into the elevator with Ren. Yusuke caught a flicker of movement out of the corner of her eye and turned to look at it.

"Oh, here comes the bitch queen and her servants," she muttered to Hiei, who immediately looked up. Pandora was striding over to them, followed by Racquel and two others whose names Yusuke did not know. Pandora was all smiles as she gave Yusuke a friendly pat on the shoulder.

"Nice job," she said flatly. "You gave a great first impression."

"Thanks, I really think we did," Yusuke mirrored Pandora's fake smile. _Unlike you_, she thought unkindly to herself.

"Oh, right, I should've introduced the rest of the girls to you." Pandora pointed to a small, mousy-haired girl who was barely taller than Hiei. "This is Amy Guinard, and this," she pointed to a girl with bright pink hair, "is Audrey Fujiwara."

"Hi," Amy said quietly, holding out her hand to Yusuke. "It iz truly a pleazure to meet you." She spoke with a heavy French accent, but seemed nice enough, though slightly cowed by Pandora's overwhelming bossiness. Audrey waved absently while dialing numbers on her cell phone.

"So, are you guys ready for the next event?" Pandora asked. Yusuke nodded.

"Yeah, Koharu's upstairs getting ready."

"Koharu, huh? The redhead from before?"

"Yes…" Yusuke didn't really like the way Pandora said 'redhead.' It was like she thought it was a disease or something.

Strange considering one of her teammates had hair the color of a neon street sign.

"Well, I'm sure that she's real smart and all, but she'll probably have a pretty hard time beating Amy here." She patted Amy's short brown hair affectionately, as though to prove her point. Yusuke resisted the urge to roll her eyes and/or grind her teeth.

"Puh-lease. Koharu's one of the best out there."

"Oh, really?" Pandora kept the smile on her face because of all the people around, but her eyes were burning with a nasty fire. "You just keep thinking that, princess, but I'll have you know that Amy is _the_ best, so you'd better watch your back."

At that moment, Ren came back with Kurama, who was dressed in jeans and a white, shortsleeved polo shirt along with her brown-and-pink Converses. Her hair was tied back in her regular ponytail with a few strands framing her face. She looked slightly surprised to see the Eternal Winter team.

"Oh, hello."

"Hi, Koharu." Pandora reached her arms out and hugged Kurama, completely ignoring Ren. Yusuke couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor guy – er, girl (not Ren, folks, Kurama).

"Hi, Pandora…nice to see you again."

"Good luck on the next round. We'll see you then." Pandora turned to go, but looked back at the last second. "Oh, and by the way…I really do love your name. 'Cinderella Rejects.' Sounds all…punk, rebel-with-a-cause, you know?" She smirked, then walked off.

"Ooh, I'd love to just bitch-slap that girl back to America," Ren seethed. Kuwabara and Botan looked slightly shocked at her choice of words, but Yusuke solemnly laid a hand on the green-haired girl's shoulder.

"I totally agree."

"Actually, so do I." Kurama joined in the conversation.

"Seriously? Goody two-shoes Koharu thinks so too?"

"Yes, I do, and so does Youko, because of what Pandora just did to me." Kurama looked uncharacteristically angry.

"Uh…because she hugged you?"

"No, you fool," Hiei snapped, obviously peeved by Pandora's recent appearance. "Didn't you see? The wench put something on Koharu's back."

"What'd she put on there?" Yusuke asked. "'Pinch me and I'll squeal,' or something like that?"

"No, far worse." Kurama handed her a Post-it, which Yusuke crumpled up after reading.

"All right," she said so calmly that the rest of the team stared. "That girl is officially going down. I don't care what it takes. No one – I repeat, no one, messes with my friends and lives to tell the tale." She threw the paper on the floor, where it stayed, face up, showing the bold, black letters that it sported.

**DON'T BE TRICKED BY THIS PRETTY FACE. I'M A COMPLETE WHORE UNDERNEATH IT. I WON'T MIND IF YOU GROPE ME, 'CAUSE I'VE DONE WORSE THINGS AND I'M PROUD OF IT.**

* * *

Grr…I've made myself mad. Pandora might seem a little…larger than life, but I need something to vent my anger on. Just review, 'kay? I'm sorry this chapter's short, but it's like ten-thirty at night and I'm tired. 


	11. Speaking From the Mind

Ooh…I got so mad when I wrote that thing about Pandora that I just had to write some more! I'm on a roll, here, people! Three chapters in one day and still goin'!

**DISCLAIMER**: I wanna get started…okay, I don't own it. Now go away so I can work!

_Kurama's thoughts_

Youko's thoughts

**Hiei's thoughts**

* * *

**SHE'S THE MAN**  
_By Kohaku Minamoto_

**Chapter 11. Speaking From the Mind**

* * *

"WOULD ALL TEAMS PLEASE ASSEMBLE IN THE THEATER FOR THE NEXT ROUND."

Yusuke, still seething from Pandora's last stunt, followed Hiei into the theater, sitting between the fire apparition and Kuwabara in the audience. They watched Kurama walk confidently up onto the stage and take her place behind one of the many desks set up already. Amy Guinard was there as well and gave a nervous, almost fearful glance at Kurama before going back to chewing her already mutilated nails.

"Poor girl," Botan whispered to Ren.

"I know. Pandora must really be pressuring her."

"I wonder where Sakura was when Pandora came over to talk to us?" Botan wondered. "It would've been a great help if she had."

"I know." Ren folded her hands and leaned back in her chair. "But that doesn't matter. Kurama's not the type to get really mad easily, but that last trick Pandora pulled might've pushed her over the edge. She's not going to let Amy win, no matter what."

"I can see Youko shining through," Botan said in a low, singsong voice. Ren grinned.

"Rrrright, the legendary Spirit Fox. I've heard a lot of bedtime stories about him. Wonder how he reacted when he found out that his human counterpart became a girl."

"Probably not to favorably, knowing Youko." Botan winced. "Probably would've unleashed a couple Death Trees on us if Kurama had let him out."

Both girls shuddered. "Ouch."

"What are the two of you babbling on about?" Hiei snapped on Ren's right.

"Nothing you should concern yourself with, Hiei." Ren smiled. Her eyes widened suddenly and she spun around to face the Jaganshi again. "Wait. What does it take for Kurama to turn back into Youko again?"

Hiei shrugged. "Since the end of the Dark Tournament, whenever Kurama feels very strong emotions, such as anger, Youko Kurama will resurface."

"Damn."

"What's the problem? Oh, no…" Botan realized the consequences. "If Kurama gets too stressed…"

"We'll have a former bandit on the loose." Ren grabbed the armrests of her chair convulsively. "And emotions are running high in this competition. Oh no…"

"WELL, IT SEEMS THAT ALL OF OUR TEAM REPRESENTATIVES FOR THE ACADEMIC PORTION OF THE TOURNAMENT HAVE ARRIVED! LET'S BEGIN, SHALL WE?"

"Don't worry so much," Hiei said nonchalantly, closing her eyes. "Kurama has more self-control than that."

"Yes, but did you see how angry she was when she found that note on her back? Any more provocation from Pandora and she'll snap."

"You obviously don't know Kurama well."

"Still…it's better to be safe than sorry. I'll see if there isn't something I can do."

"REPRESENTATIVES, KEEP YOUR TESTS FACE DOWN UNTIL THE BUZZER STARTS."

They could see Kurama leaning over her test, her face calm and collected. Amy Guinard chewed her nails nervously.

_Brrring._

"BEGIN!"

* * *

Kurama raced down the list, easily answering everything in the math, science, and language arts sections. It was almost too easy for her – taking advanced courses in school had really helped her performance. With ten minutes to spare, she turned to the last two pages, then stopped short.

The section was marked **LEGENDS AND MYTHS**.

_Strange._ Kurama scanned the list and began answering the questions.

'How many worlds are there believed to be?'

_Oh, that's easy. Three._ Kurama wrote down her answer and moved on.

'What is the race that is the counterpart of humans?'

…_Demons_. Once again, it was proving to be so simple it was almost pathetic. Being a demon, she knew all of the answers to the 'Legends and Myths' questions.

She finally arrived on the last two…and froze.

'The koorime are a race that is comprised of only females. What did they call the only male born into their village?'

_How…is Hiei already a legend?_ Kurama suddenly felt cold. _Wait…I don't know this. And this could be the critical point between losing and moving on to the next round._ She bit her lip. _Think…think…_

Hey, kit.

Kurama jumped slightly. _Youko?_

No, it's your mother. Of course it's me. Listen, why don't you ask Hiei for the answer to this question? I'm sure he – she – knows.

_I can't! It's cheating._

Tell your friend Pandora that.

_Don't…call her my friend._

Either way, I saw her give Amy Guinard a copy of the answers before the round began.

_I'm not going to sink to her level._

**It's not going to be cheating if I just tell you.**

_Hiei!_

Full house, Youko drawled. Now spill the beans, midget. For some reason, although Kurama had been turned into a girl, Youko's voice remained male.

…**You better not repeat this information to anyone, fox.**

I'm not listening… 

**The only male born to the koorime was known as the Imiko of the Glacial Village.**

Thanks. Seems Shuichi doesn't appreciate it, though.

**You owe me, fox.**

Kurama reluctantly wrote in the answer, and almost laughed at the last question.

'What is the name of the legendary fox demon bandit?' 

Easy. Me.

_I can't write that_, Kurama chuckled inwardly and wrote the answer in with a decisive hand.

'Youko Kurama.'

* * *

"THE RESULTS OF THIS ROUND WILL BE POSTED AFTER LUNCH. CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OF THE TEAMS, AND ENJOY YOUR LUNCH BREAK!"

Hiei smirked meaningfully at Kurama, who smiled back. "Thanks," she whispered so quietly that the fire apparition barely heard her.

**I'm not making a habit out of this.**

It's good to see that Hiei won't turn soft on us.

**You need to stay dead, Spirit Fox.**

Hey, it's me. Be a little nicer to your friend, would you?

**You're not my friend.**

_Would you two please stop? I think Ren wants us to go._

Oh, by the way, Shuichi…

_Hm?_

That little green-haired friend of yours thinks that I might come out if Pandora acts up again.

_Really?_

I'm amused. Actually, it's not such a bad idea. Let me out so that I can teach Pandora a little lesson about manners.

_Are you crazy? We'll be in so much trouble!_

Trouble's my middle name, kit, but let's not go into titles now, shall we? Kurama could picture Youko curling up for a nap. Don't mess this up, Shuichi. Don't forget that I'm a part of this body too, and I am fully male.

_Understood._

"Hey! Koharu!"

The redhead pulled herself out of her thoughts and looked up to see Yusuke waving at her. "Quit screwing around and come on!" she yelled. "Ren's taking us out for Chinese food!"

Kurama spotted Amy Guinard slowly making her way off the stage. "I'll be there in a minute!" she called back, and hurried over to the smaller girl. Amy stared at Kurama with large brown eyes filled with nervousness and fear.

"Uh…good job," Kurama said.

"I tried to do my best, but I am afraid that it vill not ve enough for Madame Pandora's tastes." Amy fidgeted, then inclined her head before hurrying off, probably to join her friends at a local restaurant.

_No, not friends,_ Kurama reminded herself as she remembered Pandora's condescending attitude towards Amy. _Merely the alpha and the meek pack she controls._ She pondered this for a moment.

"Koharu!" Yusuke's tone was growing increasingly annoyed. "The rest of us need to eat, you know!"

"I'm coming!"

* * *

After a rather satisfying meal, the six girls arrived at the theater to find people crowded around a bulletin board that had just been posted. Yusuke stood on her toes, then cursed quietly.

"I can't see."

"Where did Hina go?" Botan wondered. As if in answer, the fire apparition suddenly appeared beside them. "Don't do that!" Botan squeaked, her hand over her heart.

"Hmph. Here." Hiei handed the blue-haired ferrygirl a sheet of paper. "The results."

Botan scanned it, then jumped up and down, punching the air. "We're in!"

"Yes!" Ren pulled Kurama into a hug that basically crushed all of the air out of her lungs. "Great job!"

"I think that she'd like to breathe sometime soon, Ren," Yusuke said.

"Oh, sorry." Ren released Kurama from her death grip and grinned sheepishly.

"It's all right," Kurama assured the girl as soon as she got her breath back.

"Urgh…the win's bittersweet, though," Botan added, reading the rest of the list.

"How come?"

"We came in first, but Eternal Winter came in very close second."

"Hell no." Yusuke scowled. "Koharu said that they cheated."

"They did," Kurama stated gravely. "And I doubt there is much they will stop at to win."

"But…Sakura. She seemed like a nice girl," Ren said lamely.

"Though she is the manager, she is definitely not the alpha of the group. Pandora's the one who controls everything, and experience has shown that she is obviously not a nice girl. I do feel sorry for her teammates, though. She controls them so easily."

"Like pawns on a chessboard."

"Indeed, and they are ready to place us in check."

"Guess we'll just have to checkmate them before they can do that then, huh?"

* * *

Rather intellectual ending. Next chapter's gonna be about the athletics portion of the competition, so stay tuned and don't forget to review! 


	12. Return of the Thief

Sorry, haven't updated in a while. Mostly post-Spring Break fever and writer's block.

Well, here's chapter twelve of She's the Man. Hope you enjoy Team Urameshi's torture…I mean, adventures.

**DISCLAIMER**: If you haven't figured out that I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho by now, you must be retarded or something.

**NOTE**: Er…I was really surprised when I checked my email and found out that I had like ten more reviews. YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! THANKS!

_Kurama's thoughts_.

Youko's thoughts.

**Hiei's thoughts**.

* * *

**SHE'S THE MAN**  
_By Kohaku Minamoto_

Chapter 12. Return of the Thief

* * *

Dressed in their athletic clothes, the team was sitting in their dressing room. Yusuke leaned back in the plush armchair and stared blankly at the wall, absently tearing a piece of paper over and over again.

Was it just a coincidence that the paper had Pandora's name written on it?

I think not!

Ren looked at her watch. "The athletics competition is starting in five minutes. We should get down there."

"Sure…"

"You seem kind of…out of it, Yusuke. What's the matter?"

"I don't know." Yusuke clenched her fists. "I've fought demons who were out to eat my guts, but the girls here are…different, I guess. They're sly and sneaky and you can't tell what they're going to do next because they always have those damn smiles on their faces! At least the demons actually told me what's on their minds!"

"I know what you mean, but that's life," Ren sighed, standing up. "What you all need to do is prove that you're better than those girls."

"My thoughts exactly," Yusuke nodded, grinning. "So let's go and show those girls what we're made of."

* * *

"IT SEEMS THAT ALL OF THESE VERY TALENTED GIRLS HAVE ARRRIVED. SHALL WE START?"

A very enthusiastic yell from the audience was the announcer's answer.

"FIRST OFF IS THE TEAM SPRING RAIN PERFORMING GYMNASTICS!"

Yusuke snorted as she watched the leotard-clad girls tumble across stage. "Their balance is off," she commented.

"You noticed?" Hiei asked sarcastically. "I never thought I'd see the day."

"Shut up."

Team Spring Rain finished their routine and took their bows, receiving only a slight smattering of polite applause. Kurama watched incredulously as Yusuke leaned against the wall, closing her eyes. "Are you going to sleep through every single event?"

"Nah. Wake me up when the team before us starts."

A few minutes later, Kurama was shaking Yusuke's shoulder with an urgent tone in her voice. "Wake up!"

"Is it time already?"

"No, Eternal Winter is going outside to perform synchronized swimming." Kurama dragged the brunette out the door. "We need to watch this and see what we're up against."

Pandora, scantily clad in a black two-piece, blew a kiss to her audience before diving sideways into the pool at the back of the building. Racquel, Amy, and Audrey all followed her example. They swam in a circle, then dove under, only to resurface, separating so that their heads were facing towards the center of the group. They moved their arms and legs together, making the wheel rotate three times before they separated once more.

"As much as I hate to admit it, they're really good," Yusuke whispered to Kurama. The fox nodded.

"It seems like they've been doing it for several years."

"Feh," Hiei scoffed. "Synchronized swimming is no big deal. Anyone can do it if they try hard enough."

"Still…" Kurama frowned. "I think that this sort of thing is more appealing to most people than martial arts."

"Puh-lease. Don't shoot us down before we even start, okay?"

"NICE JOB TEAM ETERNAL WINTER! NOW PLEASE FILE BACK INSIDE IN AN ORDERLY FASHION…"

Kit, you're not going to win this.

_Don't say that, Youko._

I never said that you weren't going to go on to the next round. All I'm saying is that Eternal Winter is probably going to get the highest score. You did well on the academics round, but I'm afraid that this isn't going to be where you excel.

_You are such an optimist._

No worries, Youko said nonchalantly. All you have to do is win the musical competition and you're safe.

_Unless Eternal Winter gets into the top three as well._

True.

"WOULD THE LADIES OF THE CINDERELLA REJECTS PLEASE STEP ONTO THE STAGE!"

"Here goes," Yusuke muttered, putting a hand to her waist to make sure that all of her props were there. Kuwabara was holding a wooden sword that was supposed to replace her Spirit Sword, but Hiei (unfortunately) had insisted on bringing her own sword.

Let's all pray she doesn't 'accidentally' slice someone's head off.

Kurama pulled the long ribbon tied on the end of a stick that was the replacement of her trademark Rose Whip and waited.

All of a sudden, heavy gray mist blasted across the stage, obscuring everything from view. Kurama heard mutterings from the audience as they tried to figure out what was going on.

"That's my cue," Yusuke murmured and disappeared into the fog, along with Kuwabara. Kurama watched Hiei smirk widely, baring sharp canines in the process. The fox knew that Hiei was actually going to _enjoy_ this round of the competition because it allowed her to be as demonic as possible without arousing suspicion.

Ren's idea had been to sort of mime a short battle scene between two humans, a demon, and a possessed human girl. The ferrygirl had laughed for a long time at this, saying that it was absolutely incredibly ironic that they would be reenacting something like this.

The fog was starting to clear, revealing Yusuke and Kuwabara on center stage. They were standing back-to-back, their eyes scanning their surroundings warily. Yusuke was holding a metallic gun that Ren had taken from the Spirit World – it didn't actually shoot bullets, just basically whatever you put into it. It was more for effect than anything else, but it looked very convincing. Some people in the audience were starting to whisper about it.

"Is that a real gun?"

"Is she even allowed to have it here?"

Kurama noticed that Hiei had disappeared and got ready to make her entrance. Untying her hair to make it hang around her face, she crouched in behind the curtain and watched Hiei jump onto the stage. The fire apparition snarled impressively, looking to all the world like what she really was – a bloodthirsty, dangerous killer.

But no one needs to know that except for us.

Both Kuwabara and Yusuke turned to face Hiei. Kuwabara lunged first, following the script and swinging her wooden sword at Hiei with a fierce yell. Hiei drew her own sword, bringing it up to meet Kuwabara's. Ren, from backstage, grimaced at the sound of clashing steel and wood. _Good thing that Kuwabara's sword's reinforced,_ she thought grimly, watching the two push against their swords. _Otherwise that stick would've snapped by now._

Yusuke stood by with a helpless look on her face as she watched Kuwabara and Hiei, trying to aim her gun at the latter without endangering the former. However, the struggle had already transcended into a full-out duel, and Yusuke, casting away her gun, leapt at Hiei with her fists clenched. Both girls went down, grappling intensely, each trying to overcome the other. Eventually, they separated, only to go at it again, but this time in a more coordinated manner.

Kurama could hear the audience 'ooh'ing and 'aah'ing, surprised at the girls' level of skill. It was indeed a sight – Yusuke and Hiei flowed with flawless grace that their female forms had given them. Kuwabara circled around them, waiting for an opening. She gave a barely perceptible nod in Kurama's direction.

That was her cue. Kurama bent her knees, then sprang out of the backstage, hitting Hiei in the back with a midair kick and sending her flying. Yusuke looked unsure as to whether the newcomer was a friend or foe, and Kurama slowly rose to her feet, hair obscuring her eyes like a veil of blood. Ren smiled. _Yusuke has a talent for acting when she puts her mind to it._

Hiei got up from her position on the floor, looking angry. Kurama winced inwardly, knowing that this part was one of the most dangerous and complicated parts in the entire act. They hadn't told Ren, knowing that the ferrygirl would be adverse to it, but Yusuke, Kurama, and Kuwabara had had misgivings about whether or not they would be able to control Majin Hiei.

Hiei's skin slowly turned green, her Jagan eye opening along with its copies allover her body. She smirked and suddenly jumped towards Kurama, who barely dodged. The audience looked surprised.

"Who is that girl?"

"Are they using special effects or something?"

"There's no way! Must be dyed skin!"

Now this is getting interesting.

_Majin Hiei was enough to shock the audience. I hope Hiei doesn't lose control._

There was no answer from Youko, which worried Kurama slightly. She could tell that the Spirit Fox was planning something, but she didn't know what. Yusuke retrieved her gun from the floor and shot at Hiei as the demon ran, only succeeding in making smoke cover the stage again. It was in that moment of confusion that Youko decided to take control. Kurama could feel her consciousness slipping as she took a seat in the back, able to watch but helpless to intervene.

Well, this is interesting, Youko remarked, her new appearance hidden by the smoke. Always wanted to know what it was like to be a girl.

_Let me out! You have no idea how much trouble we'll be in!_

Please. Have you ever known me to do anything so stupid as to expose myself to a bunch of humans?

By now, Hiei, Kuwabara, and Yusuke had sensed the enormous amount of demon energy swirling around the stage, as had Ren. The ferrygirl attempted to see through the smoke, but could make out nothing other than four blurred shapes.

**Fox! What the hell is going on?**

Don't worry, Hiei, Youko drawled, twirling Kurama's forgotten ribbon in a deft motion. I've seen enough of Shuichi's thoughts to know what I'm supposed to do. Now, according to the ferrygirl's script, you're supposed jump out right about…now.

Youko could vaguely see, through the smoke, that Hiei was indeed leaping into the air. Yusuke fought her way over to Youko and stared for a minute.

"All right," she hissed in an undertone, "what've you done with Kurama?"

"I've done nothing with your precious Shuichi," Youko murmured nonchalantly. "This just makes it more interesting."

* * *

Oh, my, Youko has appeared! What'll happen now?

The more you review, the sooner you'll find out!


	13. Bust a Move

My Yusuke/Keiko story, Hallmark Card, got deleted for no reason. I am so freaking mad. Stupid...The only reason I stay is because of my readers. Gotta please the masses, you know? Just hope _this_ story doesn't get deleted. Sorry for not updating, by the way. Part writer's block, part overload of homework, partly because of an 'infraction'…_and _STAR Testing starts next week. Ugh.

**DISCLAIMER**: …Please don't make me say it again. Fine. Don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or the song 'Cinderella' by the Cheetah Girls.

**WARNING**: Some Michael Jackson-dissing. But it's all in good fun.

**NOTE**: Because we're not allowed to do 'script form,' I'll tell you who's singing what for the song 'Cinderella.' YUSUKE is GALLERIA. KUWABARA is CHANEL. KURAMA is DORINDA. HIEI is AQUA.

* * *

**SHE'S THE MAN  
**_By Kohaku Minamoto_

**Chapter 13. Bust a Move**

* * *

"I can't believe you did that!" 

Ren's face was flushed with anger as she paced around the room, alternately glaring at the ground and the Spirit Detectives. The athletics competition had gone by without much incident, leaving Eternal Winter in first place and the Cinderella Rejects in a close second. But Majin Hiei's appearance had shocked Ren, as well as the surfacing of Youko Kurama, the legendary Spirit Fox.

"You could've ruined everything!" Ren poked a finger at Yusuke as though she was going to jab the other girl's eyes out. "First with Hiei going all demonic, and then letting Youko Kurama appear…"

"Look!" Yusuke bellowed. "We didn't tell you the Hiei thing because we knew you'd go all ballistic. But we didn't know that Youko would appear! I swear!"

Ren took a deep breath and slumped down into a chair. "This is horrible," she mumbled, massaging her temples.

"You should get over it, little girl."

"I do have a name, you know." Ren seemed unaffected by the fact that she was talking to the former King of Thieves, who could kill her without doing so much as batting an eyelid. Youko's right hand twitched slightly.

"Look, is there any way that you can let your human form out again?" Yusuke burst out angrily. "The judges will disqualify us if they see you again. It was already pushing it in the competition."

"Let Shuichi out? Hm…" Youko contemplated Yusuke's request. "How much is it worth to you?"

"Just…do…it," Yusuke ground out through clenched teeth. Youko shook her head.

"You're in no position to make demands, Spirit Detective. Maybe I should stick around and teach Pandora some manners."

"As much as all of us would enjoy that," Hiei interjected, "cut the crap and stop stalling."

"I don't think so, Hiei…"

"YOUKO KURAMA!" Ren screamed, her entire face, from her hairline to her neck, turning bright red. With her green hair, she looked like a rather angry-looking strawberry. "IF YOU DON'T TURN HUMAN AGAIN THIS INSTANT I WILL PERSONALLY MAKE SURE THAT YOUR FAMILY LINE WILL NOT CONTINUE ANY FURTHER! NOW DO IT!"

Youko looked offended.

Yusuke looked impressed.

Kuwabara looked frightened.

Botan looked shocked.

Hiei…looked amused.

"Fine." Youko stood up, swirls of demon energy beginning to gather around her. "But don't think that this is over. I'll deal with you later, _little girl._"

When the smoke cleared, the red-haired Kurama was standing in the middle of the room, looking slightly dazed. "What happened?"

"Your alter-ego…" Ren seethed, "is a complete donkey. Nothing like you at all." She composed herself, the redness receding from her features. "Nice to have you back."

"Thanks." Kurama looked at the clock. "When does the next competition start?"

"Soon. All of you, go get dressed. Meet me down in the lobby in ten minutes, with your necklaces on." She strode out the door, muttering something under her breath about 'smug silver-tailed foxes' and their 'stupid tricky habits.' Yusuke suppressed a grin, turning around and racing to the bathroom to change.

* * *

"Oh, my gosh." Ren had, apparently, gotten over her bad mood. "You all look _great._" 

"You think?" Yusuke scratched the back of her head sheepishly. The entire group was wearing faded jeans with rips at the knees, along with their Converses and black T-shirts. Men's ties were used as belts and hung down the side of their legs, adding a nice 'punk' touch to the overall picture.

"The costume turned out better than I'd ever dreamed!" Ren whipped out a digital camera. "Pose, everyone!"

Pandora appeared as soon as the camera flashed. "H-ey," she purred, waving. She was wearing a tight, pale-blue T-shirt with an infinity sign on it made up of delicate snowflakes. A denim skirt went down to mid-thigh, and black lace-up sandals completed the look. With her blond hair hanging down stick-straight, she looked just like what she was supposed to be – a cold-hearted, untouchable ice queen. She grinned maliciously at Ren.

"I see your little cheerleader's here," she said cuttingly. Ren rolled her eyes.

"I'm their trainer, you know," she snapped.

"Oh, really?" Pandora looked genuinely confused. "You're so small, I thought that you were their mascot."

"Your face is so sickening I thought it was plastic," Ren shot back angrily. "Maybe you're related to Michael Jackson or something."

"I'm surprised you even _heard_ of him," Pandora remarked, sliding a tube of lip gloss over her lips. "After all, you _are_ from Japan."

"I'm surprised that you even know how to speak Japanese, considering that your hair's probably been through so much treatment that it's killed all your brain cells."

It was like a tennis match. Pandora seemed unconcerned at Ren's barely contained fury, while the ferrygirl looked as if she was about to start a catfight right then and there. Pandora rolled her eyes and sighed heavily as though Ren was a child.

"I suppose you just don't know when to quit." She snapped her purse shut with a snap and leaned forward. Ren could smell the other girl's perfume. She memorized the scent, knowing that every time she smelled it, images of Pandora would flash into her mind. Pandora sneered, her perfectly white teeth flashing.

"Eternal Winter is going to win this, little girl. Your athletic performance was nothing more than a bunch of cheap tricks to cover up your lack of creativity."

"Like you're one to talk," Ren retorted hotly. "You cheated in the academics round."

"Oh-ho-ho." Pandora laughed. "But the thing is…can you prove it?"

"Why you – "

"Go back to whatever circus you came from, you little freak," Pandora hissed. Her hand was on Ren's shoulder, squeezing so hard that her long nails dug through the thin cloth of Ren's shirt and into her skin. "Leave things to the professionals and get rid of that load of dye in your hair. Maybe then you won't look like a castoff old toy. But then again…" She straightened up. "You are just never going to be good enough."

She smirked triumphantly at Ren, who remained silent, and turned around to leave…

And came face-to-face with Yusuke.

Or more accurately, Yusuke's pointer finger.

The Spirit Detective was holding her hand in the position usually reserved for firing her Spirit Gun. Her eyes burned furiously, making Pandora's face pale a few shades.

"I let it go when you were rude in the elevator," she whispered menacingly. "I didn't say anything to you when you stuck that note to Koharu's back. But if you think for even one _second_ that I'm going to let you get away with this, you're wrong."

"Is that supposed to scare me?" Pandora scoffed. "Pointing fingers?"

"Believe me, I could kill you right now and you'd never know what hit you." It was a cliché statement, but something in Yusuke's glare showed Pandora that she meant every single word of her threat. Yusuke narrowed her eyes. "Bang."

Pandora spun around and walked off, trying not to look like she was hurrying away. Yusuke put her hand down. "Good riddance to bad rubbish." She turned to Ren. "Hey, you okay?"

She stared.

Tears ran down the younger ferrygirl's cheeks, no matter how hard Ren tried to hide them. She sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, but the tears just kept pouring out. Botan rushed over and enveloped the green-haired girl in a comforting hug. "There, there, it's all right."

"Now there is the perfect example of a complete bitch," Hiei stated, gesturing in the direction in which Pandora had headed.

"You got that right, shrimp," Kuwabara agreed, clenching her fists.

"I regret making Youko g-go back inside," Ren gulped through her tears. "S-she called me a little girl too, but it wasn't as b-bad as this."

"Perhaps I should let her out again?" Kurama asked, her face stony.

"No, it's fine." Ren took shuddering gasp and wiped her face dry. "Just go out there and kick Eternal Winter out of the running."

"You bet we will." Yusuke patted Ren on the shoulder. "C'mon, girls. Let's go and get that female dog."

* * *

"OKAY, AND THERE'S ETERNAL WINTER WITH THEIR SONG 'I CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU!' GIVE IT UP FOR THEIR GREAT VOCALISTS!" 

Yusuke snorted as the crowd cheered. "They weren't anything special."

"But good enough to probably get one of the higher scores," Kurama commented, watching Eternal Winter join the other teams on the sidelines. "There are only two other teams – us and Team Imperfect Perfection."

"By the way, about that name…" Yusuke grimaced slightly. "It's so contradictory. I mean, if they're imperfect, they can't be perfect."

"And vice versa," Kurama added, pushing her hair out of her face.

"AND NOW PLEASE GIVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO THE NEW UNDERDOGS OF THIS YEARS COMPETITION, THE CINDERELLA REJECTS!"

"Break a leg," Botan whispered as she gently pushed them out onto the stage.

"Preferably Pandora's," Yusuke muttered sarcastically, waving to the audience while smiling. There were four microphones at the center of the stage, and Yusuke pulled one off of the stand.

"Hey, everyone." Her voice echoed around the stadium. "As you all know, we're the Cinderella Rejects, and we're gonna sing you a song that I think all of you independent girls out there might be able to relate to."

Ren hit the button on the stereo, and the beginning sounds of the song began. Hiei looked angry – she hadn't wanted to sing in the first place, so Ren had been forced to give her the smallest parts. She giggled slightly at the memory. Despite all of her stubborn acts and refusals, Hiei had a surprisingly good singing voice.

She'd be sure to tease the fire apparition about it later.

"Spirit," the four whispered in unison, feeling the familiar flare of energy surround them all.

_**When I was just a little girl  
**__**My momma used to tuck me into bed  
**__**And she'd read me a story**_

_**It always was about a Princess in distress  
**__**And how a guy would save her  
**__**And end up with the glory**_

_**I'd lie in bed and think about the person that I wanted to be**_

_**Then one day I realized the fairy tale life wasn't for me…**_

_**I don't wanna be like Cinderella  
Sittin' in a dark cold dusty cellar  
Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free  
I don't wanna be like someone waiting  
For a handsome prince to come and save me  
Oh I will survive, unless somebody's by my side  
Don't wanna be no no no one else  
I'd rather rescue myself**_

The audience was loving it so far. Botan looked across the stage at Ren, who was tapping her foot in time with the beat. The green-haired girl glanced at her colleague, her lips curving upwards into a huge grin.

_**Someday I'm gonna find someone who wants my soul, heart, and mind**_

_**Who's not afraid to show that he loves me**_

_**Somebody who will understand I'm happy just the way I am  
Don't need nobody taking care of me**_

_**I will be there for him just as strong as he will be there for me**_

_**When I give myself then it has to got to be an equal thing…**_

The look on Pandora's face was priceless – a mixture of barely concealed horror and contempt. The Cinderella Rejects' singing talents matched those of Eternal Winter…this was gonna be a close one.

_**I don't wanna be like Cinderella  
Sittin' in a dark cold dusty cellar  
Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free  
I don't wanna be like someone waiting  
For a handsome prince to come and save me  
Oh I will survive, unless somebody's by my side  
Don't wanna be no no no one else  
I'd rather rescue myself**_

**_I can slay, my own dragons  
I can dream, my own dreams  
My knight in shining armor is me_**

**_So I'm gonna set me free_…**

_**I don't wanna be like Cinderella  
Sittin' in a dark cold dusty cellar  
Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free  
I don't wanna be like someone waiting  
For a handsome prince to come and save me  
Oh I will survive, unless somebody's by my side  
Don't wanna be no no no one else  
I'd rather rescue myself**_

The crowd went wild. The four girls joined hands and bowed, grinning widely.

_Yes!_ Yusuke thought, cheering inwardly. _Yes!_

* * *

"AND THE RESULTS ARE IN!" 

Ren was clutching her hands nervously as Botan bounced up and down, unable to keep still in her agitation. The announcer seemed to be holding them in suspense just to see them squirm.

"IN THIRD PLACE – IMPERFECT PERFECTION!"

"I repeat - weird name," Yusuke muttered as the four girls sauntered up onto stage. They received their prize, bowed and sat back down.

"IN SECOND PLACE – ETERNAL WINTER!"

"This isn't good," Kurama said. "If we didn't get a better score than them, then we won't have gotten into the finals."

Kuwabara chewed her fingers. It _was_ bad.

_Please don't let us stay as girls for four more years…_ the entire team pleaded to whatever god was listening.

"AND IN FIRST PLACE…"

_Come on, come on…_

"CINDERELLA REJECTS! CONGRATULATIONS!"

Yusuke grabbed Hiei, who was nearest, hugging the short demon so hard thatHiei's eyes practically popped out of her head. "Yes! Yes! We're going to the finals!"

* * *

Happy ending for everyone, eh? Help me pray so that this won't get deleted for some stupid reason. REVIEW! 


	14. Discovery

STAR Testing stinks. I think I failed the science section of the test. Man, at times like these I wonder what I wouldn't give to have Kurama's brain…

By the way, I've been having a little bit of trouble logging on, so sorry about the slow updating. I'll try to write more and make up for it.

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, and I obviously don't own Kurama and his brain. Darn it!

* * *

**SHE'S THE MAN**  
_By Kohaku Minamoto _

**Chapter 14. Discovery**

* * *

It was the day after the regionals and Yusuke woke up, still running on the high she'd gotten from winning. Humming aimlessly, she skipped over to the mirror, pulling her hair into a ponytail. She quickly changed into a pair of jeans and an oversized T-shirt and rushed outside. 

Then she stopped short, all traces of happiness gone from her system.

_Oh, shit._

Kurama was standing before her, a slight smile on her face. On any other person, it would've been a full-out grin of triumph, but on Kurama, it was much more subdued. The fox tilted her head to the side and tapped her finger against her forearm.

"Yusuke?"

"What?" Yusuke asked, playing dumb.

"I believe we had a deal."

"What deal?"

"Please don't try and act innocent, Yusuke. It doesn't suit you."

"Uh…okay." Yusuke bit her lip. "So?"

"I think I have won the bet with a grand total of ten date requests," Kurama said.

"Wha – ? How?"

"I just got a whole pile of fanmail last night."

"Oh…guess that means you win, huh?"

"Yes."

"What do you want me to do?"

"_That_ I have not decided yet." Kurama turned and walked off. "I just wanted you to know in case it suddenly comes to me."

"Let's hope it never does," Yusuke muttered.

* * *

Ren was waiting in the lobby when the team finally arrived. "The nationals are in one week," she informed them. "In Tokyo." 

"Only one week?" Yusuke asked, shocked.

"What are the events?"

"A relay race, a fashion design competition, and a writing competition."

"_Writing_?" Yusuke was bewildered. "But…"

"None of us know how to write!"

"It is true," Kurama admitted quietly. "All I know how to write are essays."

Hiei didn't contribute to the conversation, and Ren didn't ask her to, assuming that the short demon probably thought that writing was a trivial matter anyway.

"That's not going to help," Ren said sternly. "It's narrative writing. But don't worry about that now – we'll figure something out."

* * *

"I'm surprised, dimwit," Genkai remarked as the team walked into her dojo. "You made it through and didn't screw up the entire thing." 

"Ah, shut up, grandma," Yusuke replied nonchalantly, throwing her bag carelessly by the door. "I'm gonna go take a nap, people," the Spirit Detective mumbled, walking off to her room. "All that getting mad at Pandora got me tired."

"I saw you four on TV last night," Genkai informed Kuwabara, Kurama, and Hiei as soon as Yusuke had left. "Nice job."

"I thought the interview went pretty well," Kuwabara said.

"_I_ think that the reporter's going to have nightmares about Hiei from now on," Ren retorted.

The entire team fell silent, remembering the extremely amusing press conference.

_"Hello, this is Brenda Fushi, live at the Yachiro Annual Girls' Competition, Mushiyori Regionals. I'm here with the winning team of the regionals, the Cinderella Rejects. Girls, how do you feel about winning this competition?" The platinum-blond lady held the microphone out to Kurama, who she seemed to have taken a liking to._

_"We feel proud of ourselves, naturally," Kurama replied blandly before looking pointedly at Yusuke. Catching the glance, Brenda turned to the brunette._

_"As team captain of the Cinderella Rejects, what do you have to say about your group overall?"_

_"Well, we're sort of like a big dysfunctional family," Yusuke said, grinning. "I'm like the punk girl who always gets bad grades, Kasumi's the clown, Koharu's the brainy good-girl with an evil side, and Hina…" she glanced down at Hiei. "Well, you can ask her."_

_She'd meant it as a joke, but Brenda took it literally, bending down until she could look Hiei in the eyes._

_"You must be Hina, right? I really love your eyes. Are they contacts?"_

_"No," Hiei said flatly. Brenda looked taken aback._

_"Uh, well…is your hair natural?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Er…so how would you describe yourself? You know, as part of Yukiko's 'dysfunctional family'?" Brenda seemed unaware of the danger she was placing herself in. Hiei's eye twitched noticeably._

_"I am the outsider that is going to take over the world and hang your head on a stick," she said in a low, menacing voice. "My favorite food is human flesh and I love to drink blood." She smirked, revealing a pointed fang. Brenda backed away, nearly tripping over her black stilettos in the process._

_"Ah…nice t-talking to you, Hina. I h-hope I'll be able to s-speak with you again." Brenda regained her composure. "And that's the end of the Cinderella Rejects press conference. See you next time." She waved at the cameraman. "Turn it off," she whispered urgently. "I need to get away from the mini-vampire."_

Sweatdrops all around.

"Hiei, you really need to stop freaking people out like that," Botan stated. "Maybe you should take some social classes at the university!"

"No."

"The shrimp would probably murder everyone there," Kuwabara muttered.

"That's rather true, Kuwabara," Kurama agreed. "Ren, what time are we leaving for Tokyo?"

"Next Friday at seven in the morning." Ren recited. Before anyone could blink, Hiei disappeared in a whoosh. "Where's she off to in such a hurry?"

"Probably to go sleep," said Kuwabara. "Stupid tree-hugging midget."

Ren giggled. Kurama smiled, then tilted her head to the side as though listening to something that no one else could hear. "Ah, Youko wants to come out."

"Let her out for a minute," Ren said, surprising everyone else. "What?"

"Uh…"

"There's something that I didn't tell you," Kurama said quietly. "Youko's found a way to separate his mind from mine after the martial arts performance, so if he comes out, he is completely and fully male."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Let him out anyway…" Ren said, now resigned. "I guess he deserves it…"

There was an enormous flare of demonic energy, then a deep chuckle. "I'm touched," Youko said, patting Ren on the head as though she was a child. She turned crimson with rage.

"Forget what I said before. Go back inside, stupid fox."

"I'm afraid I can't do that," Youko said lightly. "I've decided that I'm going to stay out until the nationals."

"What?" Ren was shocked. "No!"

"I have made up my mind, so don't try to change it."

"Can't you at least change back before the flight?"

"No, sorry." Youko actually didn't look sorry at all. Ren noticed that he was at least six feet tall, a skyscraper compared to her barely-five-feet stature.

It bothered her.

A lot.

She was in a very bad mood now. "Just stay out of my sight," she snapped, waving her hand so that her oar appeared. "'Night, everyone." She flew out of the door, slamming it shut behind her. Kuwabara glanced out of the corner of her eye at Youko.

"Well, that went well."

* * *

Ren didn't appear the next morning. 

Yusuke glared at Youko over breakfast, her brown eyes looking as though they were going to stare a hole right through the fox's forehead. "You must've said something and made her so mad that she quit," she said accusingly.

"I doubt it," Botan piped up. "Ren's not the type to do that."

"Still…" Yusuke propped her elbows up on the table. "You can never tell with her. She's a definite loose cannon."

Just then, something in Botan's pocket beeped. The ferrygirl jumped and pulled her communication mirror out, flipping it open. "Botan here."

"I've got a problem," was the curt answer she received.

"Ren, where are you?"

"I've just found someone in the middle of the woods. She's hurt. Badly."

"Who is it?"

"…Sakura Li."

Everyone exchanged glances. Yusuke pushed her face into the screen so that she could talk to Ren. "We'll be there," she said. "Just hang on."

"I think you'd better hurry, though…" The group winced as they heard the sound of crunching bone. "Glad I had that lacrosse stick."

"_Lacrosse stick_?" Kuwabara asked incredulously. "What the heck are you doing over there?"

"What do you think? I'm trying to keep the demons from biting my head off."

"Uh…"

"Like the detective said," Hiei muttered irritably. "We'll be there."

* * *

And they were – within five minutes. 

Just in time to see Ren whacking demons right and left with a lacrosse stick. Yusuke took out the majority with her Shot Gun, and a carnivorous plant grew out of nowhere to devour the rest. Kuwabara looked disgruntled.

"How come you guys didn't leave anything for the rest of us?"

"Oops, sorry," Yusuke said, shrugging. "Guess I don't know my own strength."

Ren was bending over Sakura's prone form, which was covered in various slashes and cuts from the demons. She mouthed a few words and held her hands over a larger wound. They started glowing white-hot with spirit energy before the lips of the cut knitted together to form seamless, unblemished flesh. Botan began working on the other side.

"What the hell happened to her?" Yusuke asked. "And why isn't she with Mistress Bitch?"

"That is something we don't know," Ren stated grimly, standing up. "She's comatose now, but when she wakes up we can ask her about what happened."

Youko was standing motionless a little ways off, and Ren rounded on him. "Hey, why aren't you talking?" she snapped, poking his chest. "Not that I'm complaining or anything."

"It's…nothing." Youko seemed uncharacteristically stunned by something that no one else knew about. Botan and Ren exchanged quizzical looks at the fox demon's behavior, but shrugged it off as an aftereffect of the change…or something like that.

"That time of month for you or something?" Ren said sarcastically. Yusuke and Kuwabara started laughing.

"Youko's PMSing!" they chortled in unison, then fell about laughing. The corner of Hiei's mouth twitched slightly – either from amusement or annoyance, no one could tell. Youko glared down at Ren.

"I think I am right to assume that most of us would like you to keep stories of feminine bodily functions to yourself, little girl," he said icily, spinning around.

"Hey, wait."

"What?"

Before the fox could react, Ren quickly snapped something around his wrist. "There we go!" she said with satisfaction.

"What is this?" Youko examined the thin bracelet with a slightly bored air. Ren snorted.

"It's a binding seal. Botan and I each have a matching bracelet, which means that you must be within a hundred meters of us at all times."

Youko gave a short bark of laughter. "As though any Spirit World technology would be able to imprison me," he scoffed.

"You are the most egotistical bastard I have ever had the misfortune to meet," Ren sighed. "If we didn't keep an eye on you, you'd be robbing everyone blind within seconds. So go ahead, try and walk away. You won't get far."

"Don't mind if I do." Youko strode off with a decisive air. When he got out of range, however, he felt his legs turn heavy, almost leaden. They anchored him to the ground, rendering him completely immobile. "What is this?" he growled, struggling to move. Ren shrugged and walked forward, allowing Youko to move again.

"Just be a nice, tame fox for once, would you?" she said sweetly, practically dragging him back to Sakura. "All right, we really should be getting her back to Genkai's."

Youko, at the moment, looked ready to kill. How could he, the legendary Spirit Fox, King of Thieves, be imprisoned by something as trivial as a ferrygirl's trinket? He couldn't believe it.

_Serves you right._

…Shut up, Shuichi. I'm going to get out of this…somehow…

Ren was going to be begging for mercy by the time he was through with her.

* * *

Ooh! More drama! Yay! 

Ren vs. Youko is one of the best rivalries I've ever written about, really. They're like…complete opposites. Sort of like Inuyasha and Sesshomaru, but on a more heated scale. And they're not exactly trying to murder each other…

Or are they? Dun dun dun…

Review, or else they'll both die!


	15. Rivalries and Revelations

Ooh, chapter 15. Sorry for not updating for a while – homework is a pain.

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho.

* * *

**SHE'S THE MAN  
**_By Kohaku Minamoto_

**Chapter 15. Rivalries and Revelations**

* * *

Two days had passed and Sakura still showed no sign of waking up. Ren and Botan were both growing worried, and Youko had become increasingly moody and snappish – but most of them attributed it to the fact that he was currently bound to both Ren and Botan. Seriously, how bad of a mood swing could the Spirit Fox have anyway?

In order to distract herself from the comatose trainer of Eternal Winter, Ren spent most of her time alternating between bothering the team about training and perusing various fashion magazines. She had devoted several hours to mixing a bunch of homemade cosmetics that were supposedly better for the appearance than store-bought items. Yusuke still grumbled about having to wear lip gloss, while Hiei simply all-out refused to put it on at all.

The fire apparition didn't show up most mornings, causing both Yusuke and Youko to suspect that she was trying to avoid Ren and get some sleep. Unfortunately, the ferrygirl knew what the shortest team member of the Cinderella Rejects was thinking and frequently had to jump her in order to get her to run laps with the rest of them. Tempers were running high and no one wanted to talk to anyone else.

The endless routine changed one day when Botan suddenly came running from Sakura's room, trampling Yusuke and Kuwabara in the process. "She's awake!" the bluette exclaimed breathlessly.

Sakura was indeed conscious and sitting up in her bed. She looked confusedly at Yusuke and Kuwabara, who had recovered from their recent rendezvous with the floor and came in to check on her. "You two…Yukiko Irazumi and Kasumi Kanakuma, right?"

"Sure," Yusuke mumbled. "Sakura Li?"

"Yeah…"

There was a movement at the door as Ren appeared with Youko in tow. "Botan, I heard the news – "

Sakura suddenly jumped when she saw Youko. "Oh…my god…"

"What's the matter?" Botan asked worriedly. "Is something wrong?" She quickly motioned to Ren to cover Youko's fox ears, but the green-haired girl shrugged helplessly, gesturing that Youko was too tall for her to reach the top of his head. Sakura stared…and stared…and stared…

"All right, mind telling us what's the matter?" Yusuke said irritably. Youko and Sakura were still gazing at each other like they were in a staring contest. Yusuke huffed, then leaned over to whisper to Ren. "What's going on?"

"I dunno. What's more likely: long-lost second cousin, past lover, or the victim of one of Youko's raids?"

"Uh…probably the last one."

"Youko, what the hell is the matter with you?" Ren snapped, yanking the fox's tail. He immediately stiffened, then glared daggers at her. Sakura chuckled.

"Haha…still as protective of your tail as ever, I see."

"Forget it," Yusuke muttered to Ren. "Must be a past lover."

"I heard that," Sakura said, albeit amiably. "No, I'm not one of his many past lovers – nothing that cliché."

"Then what are you? And why's Youko staring like you just conked him on the head?"

"It's difficult to explain," Sakura said sheepishly. "You see…well, this kinda takes us back a couple hundred years, when Youko was still robbing the Demon World blind. He had a partner called Kuronue, but Kuronue died while trying to retrieve something that was very important to him." Sakura spread her arms. "To put it bluntly, I am Kuronue."

"But…you're a _girl_," Yusuke protested. "How is that supposed to work?"

"Uh…" Sakura's cheeks turned red. "I wasn't quite ready to accept the fact that I was dead, so I, like Youko, ended up possessing an unborn human baby. However, I sort of misjudged my aim and ended up in a girl's body. You can probably imagine my shock." She cleared her throat, pointedly avoiding Youko's mildly amused look. "So…I entered the competition as Eternal Winter's trainer in order to use the grand prize to change my body into that of a male, but it's not really going too well. Pandora and I had a fight a while back, so I left so that she'd simmer down a bit. However, a bunch of demons sensed my energy and attacked me."

"And that's when I found her," Ren finished. "Any questions?"

"Yeah," Yusuke said slowly. "If we're aiming for the grand prize, how's Sakura going to be able to turn into a guy?"

"…" Ren had no answer to that.

* * *

"We've figured something out," Ren announced abruptly over dinner. Yusuke looked up.

"What?"

"Once the Cinderella Rejects take the grand prize, they are free to bring it home with them. Sakura can just come over and…" Ren waved a hand around aimlessly, nearly knocking over her glass of orange juice in the process. Sakura snatched it out of the way to prevent any damage.

"Okay, Ren, thanks," she said gratefully. Youko rolled his eyes.

"I can't believe that _Kuronue_ got turned into a girl," he scoffed. Sakura immediately bristled.

"Well I can't believe that your human form got turned into a girl either. He even _looks_ like a girl when he's a guy."

"Speaking of human forms," Ren cut in, "Sakura, can you still turn into Kuronue? Like Kurama can turn into Youko?" She glared at Youko, who simply pretended that she was invisible.

Sakura looked thoughtful. "Hm…I'm not too sure, since it's only happened once before."

"Oi," Yusuke called lazily from where she was sitting on the floor. "Anyone wanna play a game?"

"Like what?" Botan asked, then glanced at Ren. The green-haired ferrygirl looked slightly hesitant at the thought of putting off training. "Aw, c'mon, Ren. Let it go. Live a little!"

"Oh, all right then," Ren said reluctantly, walking over to where Yusuke was, dragging Youko along with her. "So, what are we going to play?"

"How about ABC?" Kuwabara suggested. Everyone looked at her as though she was insane.

"Uh, Kuwabara, I don't know about you, but I kinda learned the alphabet when I was five," Yusuke said slowly. The orange-haired girl huffed.

"I know that! There's a game called ABC, where you call out A, B, and then whatever letter you want. There's a bunch of hand motions," she held her hands palms up, "like this. One person calls out the letters, and if someone else gets the same motion as them, the person gets to slap them on the hands."

"I'll play," Yusuke immediately said. Ren shrugged.

"I'm in."

"Me too."

Without saying a word, Youko sat between Ren and Sakura. He felt rather ridiculous playing such a stupid game, but a scheme was already growing in his mind. Maybe the time was ripe to get back at the green-haired ferrygirl next to him…

"All right, this is A, this is B, this is C, and this is D. There are other signs too, but I think we should just stick with these for now," Kuwabara said happily. "I'll start. A, B…B!"

Yusuke and Sakura ended up with B. Kuwabara slapped Yusuke's hands hard, making the Spirit Detective howl and jerk away.

"You ass!"

"Forgot to tell you," Kuwabara said cheerfully as she hit Sakura's hands (a little more gently). "You can hit as hard as you want."

Yusuke huffed. "Fine. But you're gonna pay for that."

Kuwabara went again, but caught no one. The game slowly went from Yusuke (who wasn't able to get Kuwabara) to Botan to Sakura.

Then it was Youko's turn.

"A, B…D."

Ren scowled but held her hands out anyway. Youko smirked.

_Smack._

"OW!" Ren's hands immediately turned bright red.

_Smack._

"OW!"

"Don't complain," Youko said in a blithe tone. "You knew the consequences."

"You stupid – "

_Smack._

"OW!"

"Turn your hands over," Youko said calmly. Ren, looking like she was about to explode with anger, turned her stinging hands over and braced herself for the blow.

_SMACK_. Everyone winced at the loud slapping sound.

"OW! DAMN IT, YOUKO!"

Youko went two more times, catching Ren one more time with 'B.' Ren, feeling like her hands were too sore to even move, was practically burning with fury. "Let's play a different game," she suggested.

"But this is fun," Youko retorted, watching Ren's forehead turn a brilliant shade of purple.

"Okay, what do you think we should play?" Botan asked.

"Hm. I think we should play…"

* * *

CLIFFHANGER!

Sorry it's so short. Actually, it's mostly because I can't think of a game. But review, and I might get a sudden inspiration!


	16. Who am I?

Well, here's chapter 16. Sorry for not updating for a while…I had serious writer's block.

**DISCLAIMER**: Don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. Buzz off, stupid lawyers.

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for. Ren's chance to choose a game. Thank you so much to **Tsukiko Hana** for giving me an idea! Girl, you get an OC! Now I'm just waiting for your answer to who you want to be put in…

* * *

**SHE'S THE MAN  
**_By Kohaku Minamoto _

**Chapter 16. Who am I?**

* * *

"Who am I?"

"You're Ren," Yusuke immediately replied. The green-haired ferrygirl scowled at her.

"No, I mean the game, who am I. One person chooses a person to 'be' and then everyone else asks them yes-or-no questions to try and figure out who it is. _Comprendé_?"

"Yeah…sorta."

"We play this a lot in Spirit World," Botan said happily. "It's fun."

"I'll start," Ren said. "…Hm…All right. Start asking me questions."

"Are you dead?" Yusuke demanded immediately.

"No."

"Are you a guy?" Kuwabara questioned.

"Yes." Ren made a face at this.

"Are you human?" This was Youko.

"No."

"Are you grumpy?" Sakura asked.

"Yes."

"I think I've got it," the reincarnate said, snapping her fingers. "Are you Hiei?"

"Ding-ding-ding!" Ren imitated a bell, grinning widely. "Nice job, Sakura!" She sat back, folding her legs.

"Okay…I've got a person. Start asking questions."

"Are you an idiot?" Ren asked.

"Yes."

"Are you excessively violent?"

"Yes."

"Are you human?"

"Yes."

"Are you Yusuke?"

"Yes!"

"Hey!" the Spirit Detective yelled. "I am _not_ an idiot!"

* * *

Eventually, the group got tired of asking each other questions and decided to do something else in their spare time. Yusuke and Kuwabara got into a fight over some thing (probably over who was the better fighter) and were immediately lost in a cloud of dust, from which frequent sounds of fists connecting with various body parts issued. Youko sat against the wall, growing a plant over and over again while conversing lightly with Sakura.

And Ren and Botan?

"Hey, anyone wanna play Twister?"

Chaos ensued. But you can't expect much less from a game of Twister with non-humans.

* * *

"My hand hurts," Yusuke groaned, shaking the singed appendage before plucking a few bandages off the table in front of her and rolling them around her right hand. She glared daggers at the green-haired ferrygirl sitting across from her. "It's all your fault, Ren."

"Why me?"

"You could've warned us that Spirit World's version of 'Twister' has a bunch of booby traps on it!" the Spirit Detective yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at Ren (followed by an insulting one), and immediately regretting it. "Owowowow…."

"It's not like we didn't get hurt either, Yusuke," Botan said consolingly. The blue-haired ferrygirl was, curiously enough, missing one eyebrow from when Yusuke had set her hand down on a trick circle, making it blow up.

No one at the table had managed to escape unscathed from the dangerous game of Twister, except for Hiei and Yukina. One of the uninjured demons was smirking while the other was looking worriedly around and passing out bandages.

Can you guess which?

Ren gingerly touched her left eye, on which she was sporting a magnificent shiner received from when Botan had touched a red square, making a boxing glove shoot out and hit the green-haired girl. "Remind me to kill Koenma later," she said grumpily. "He was the one who told me to choose it instead of Monopoly."

Youko shifted his slightly burned tail a little, wincing lightly. "And you listened to him?"

"You would've too!" Ren snapped, looking extremely furious despite the fact that the area around her eye was still an interesting shade of purple-black. "Especially if he mentioned that he 'might' dock your pay for a month if you didn't take it off his hands. Now I understand why he was so eager to get rid of it…"

Kuwabara felt her split bottom lip, received from the same boxing glove that had blacked Ren's eye. "It's not gonna help our image for the next round of the competition," she said grumpily.

"Hmph. Idiots," Hiei grunted with a trace of amusement. Sakura shot the shorter demon a glance.

"Dun say tings like dat," she mumbled while trying to stem the flow of a bloody nose. "You would've godden the thame treadment as us if you had played."

"But I didn't play, did I?" Hiei asked, with just the smallest trace of smugness. Sakura scowled.

"Stupid midget."

* * *

The week passed by quickly. Too quickly. Ren woke up the morning that they were supposed to leave with a stomachache, probably from nerves. The Cinderella Rejects were nervous as well; their dating 'competition' was starting up again, and each was determined to win.

Ren surveyed the group while looking vaguely green. Yusuke was dressed in a plain white T-shirt and ripped jeans with her hair in a ponytail. "Acceptable," Ren muttered.

Kuwabara's shirt was green and she was wearing a pair of cargo shorts. "Fine," Ren approved.

Youko had dressed up in human fashion, wearing a pair of jeans and a blue polo. The strange thing was that he…now looked like a she. Ren stared. "What happened to you?"

"Illusion," Youko said flippantly.

"What about your ears?"

"What about them? Human teenagers these days will wear practically anything these days."

Ren shook her head, hiding a slightly amused smile. The green tinge on her face became even more pronounced, however, when she got to Hiei. "Hiei…do you really have to wear that?"

Hiei looked down at herself. "What's wrong with this?"

She was wearing her usual black cloak, white scarf ensemble. Ren groaned. "Hiei, you look like a Goth. A very murderous Goth."

"Do you see my sword?" Hiei asked grumpily, indicating her form. "I'm not doing anything wrong, am I? Not that I would care."

"Airport security's going to kill you."

"Who said I was going to ride _in_ the airplane?" Hiei asked, smirking.

A split second later, Ren's expression changed from confused to apprehensive as she realized what Hiei meant. "Oh, no, you are _not_…"

"Oh, yes I am," Hiei replied. "I'm a demon. I'm perfectly capable of surviving atop a flying airplane."

Ren groaned. "You...are hopeless..."

* * *

Airport security passed rather smoothly, at least with the absence of Hiei. Sakura, wearing a black pleated skirt and a pale blue button-up shirt that made her look very smart, tapped Botan on the shoulder.

"I'll catch you guys later," she whispered. "I think I see Pandora."

Ren scowled at this. "All right," she said, picking her bag up. "Take care of yourself, Sakura."

"Bye." Sakura ran over to Pandora, who frowned at her and said a few words before continuing up the escalator.

The group took their seats. It was a small plane, with only four people per row with an aisle between each pair. Ren looked over their group, mentally counting. "One of us has to sit alone."

"I will," Youko immediately said, only to have Ren grab him by the shirt.

"_You_ aren't going anywhere. Remember the spell?"

Youko resisted the urge to grind his teeth and followed Ren to one of the seats. Botan, deciding that it would be too big of a risk to leave Yusuke by herself, looked apologetically at Kuwabara. "Sorry. I guess you're on your own."

"Don't worry," Kuwabara chuckled. "I'll be right behind you, anyway. What's the worst that could happen?"

Famous last words.

* * *

Dun dun dun! I'm so evil – a cliffhanger on my first day back with this story!

Sorry it was short. If you liked it, review. If you didn't like it…review anyway!


	17. Plane Equals Pain

Oh my gosh I am so sorry for not updating, you guys. Geez…it's been so long since I last updated…

Hoping my writing's matured a little (yeah, right). So…here's a chapter for those of you who haven't given up on me yet! Thanks guys!

**DISCLAIMER**: …Please. We're on the seventeenth chapter. If you haven't figured it out by now…

**_Hiei's thoughts_**  
_Kuwabara's thoughts_

**SHE'S THE MAN**  
_By Kohaku Minamoto_

**Chapter 17. Plane Equals Pain**

* * *

Ren was dozing in her seat next to Youko, and the fox was getting ideas.

_How hard can it be,_ he thought evilly, _to get out of this seat and switch without her noticing?_

Not very hard, he decided. Quietly, he dropped his hand down to his seatbelt and unbuckled it, muffling the little _click_ it made with his hand. Without making a sound, he stood, the weirder part of his mind doing a little dance and gloating.

"Oh yeah, master thief Youko's the best…"

"Oof!"

He couldn't stifle the surprised sound as a small hand grabbed him by the front of his shirt and dragged him back into his seat again. Youko found himself almost nose to nose with Ren. An aura of fury emanated from her form so strongly that the spiritually-sensitive Kuwabara, sitting two rows behind them, shivered involuntarily and looked around the plane with shifty eyes, trying to find the nearest exit (she hadn't been paying attention to the flight attendant's speech at the beginning of the flight).

Several babies, still very sensitive to negative energies due to their young age, began crying simultaneously. None of their parents knew what was wrong.

Youko tried loosening Ren's grip on his collar. No luck – the girl was still sound asleep, and yet her fist was clenched so tightly that Youko could almost _hear_ the strands of thread that made up his shirt coming apart.

The only way he would get out of this was if he:

A. Called one of the others for help.

B. Took off his shirt.

C. Cut off Ren's hand.

Youko gritted his teeth. Calling to the others (aka Choice A) would definitely result in a severe blow to his pride – something he did not particularly desire. Choice B would've been easier, but Youko remembered just in time that the illusion he'd placed on himself made him appear as a girl, right down to the bare skin.

And judging from the way that the old guy in the seat two rows over was eyeing him, stripping definitely was _not_ the way to go.

Choice C was definitely the more favorable option, but they were in a crowded plane, full of people. A severed appendage, not to mention the amount of blood that accompanied it, would've caused widespread panic.

And if Ren didn't kill someone for his maiming her…

She would for his making the pilot crash the plane.

Youko scowled and managed to shift so that there was a decent amount of space between his face and Ren's. That flight attendant was starting to look at them strangely…

Suddenly, Ren spoke.

"Aw, Youko, he ain't so tough…he's more like a…big, fluffy stuffed animal…cute…" She moved a little, not loosening her grip on Youko's shirt. The fox eyed her warily.

She thought he was _cute_…?

Little did he know of the chibi-Youkos dancing around in Ren's dreams, making cute, high-pitched noises and looking at her with the biggest, most adorable eyes…

"Cute…"

She wasn't dreaming of him at all.

Well, not in the conventional sense.

* * *

Meanwhile, with Yusuke and Botan…

"Would you like anything to drink?"

"Just a water, please."

"Iced tea, please."

Botan started and did a double take. "Are you all right…?"

"Wanted a change, okay?" Yusuke accepted her iced tea from the attendant with a grin. "Thanks. Could you give me a few sugars with that?"

Botan watched as Yusuke placed at least six packets of Equal on her tray beside her tea. "You know they already sweeten those, right?" she asked tentatively, as Yusuke proceeded to rip open every one of the packets.

"Yeeeeah…" Without further ado, Yusuke dumped all of the sugar in and began to stir vigorously with her straw. Botan made an "ew" face – it looked like there was almost as much sugar as tea in Yusuke's glass.

"What?" the Spirit Detective inquired. "Tea tastes weird unless you add a lot of sugar."

Botan rolled her eyes and took a sip of her ice water. "I suppose you never did like traditional…"

Yusuke looked at her in confusion, then turned back to her iced tea. "Y'know, you taste a lot better when you're sweet," she said to the glass. "Dunno why Grandma likes you plain…"

"…" said the tea.

* * *

Kuwabara ripped open the package of salted peanuts and cashews with a fervor usually exhibited by ravenous wild beasts. She emptied nearly the entire thing into her mouth, chewing noisily and forgetting for a moment that she was a _girl_ and was expected to behave accordingly. She hadn't had anything to eat for breakfast because of nerves, and she was _starving_.

It was only when Botan turned around to glare very pointedly at her that Kuwabara tried to eat more like a civilized human being and less like a savage monkey.

She chewed slowly, savoring the taste of salt on her tongue. Leaning against the window (she _loved_ not having to share a row with anyone), she looked outside with dreamy, faraway eyes.

Her thoughts turned to Yukina, as they usually did when Kuwabara was daydreaming. The boy-turned-girl sighed and smiled, eyes half-lidded. She was seeing Yukina before her, aqua hair looking softer than silk, her eyes a beautiful, shimmering crimson and her cheeks touched with the faintest pink blush, classic shoujo bubbles surrounding her and nearly blinding Kuwabara with their brilliance…

(Does anyone else think it's disturbing that I'm still writing Kuwabara as a _she_ while talking about Yukina in a romantic sense?)

_**Hn. Idiot. Stop daydreaming.**_

The image of Yukina disappeared, accompanied by the sudden popping of the shoujo bubbles. Kuwabara reeled back from the window as the murderous image of Hiei appeared. The girl hurriedly pulled her coat over her head, shielding the window from view with the garment. She didn't particularly like the fact that Hiei was talking to her in her head, but getting discovered would mean havoc.

_Hiei! What the heck are you doing?_

Hiei rolled her eyes. Kuwabara wanted to ask how she could possibly hang upside-down on the outside of a plane and not get killed, but decided not to. With Hiei, it was better to know as little as possible.

_**You're staring, idiot. And drooling. It's disgusting.**_

Kuwabara hurriedly wiped her chin with her hand. _I was not!_

Hiei didn't seem to find the debate worthy of her interest, and changed the subject. _**What is the fox doing?**_ she asked suddenly, looking off in a different direction. Kuwabara caught the faint glow of the Jagan underneath the other girl's headband. The psychic ducked her head out from under her jacket and craned her neck to see over the heads of Botan and Yusuke. Tall as she was, she could only catch a glimpse of Youko's ears, which were twitching frantically.

_**He's not happy,**_ Hiei observed. Kuwabara noticed that the demon didn't sound the least bit remorseful. Rather, her tone was blatantly amused.

_Why?_

_**The ferrygirl is strangling him.**_

Kuwabara couldn't see it, but Ren had somehow managed to latch her hands around Youko's neck and was throttling him while muttering random things like "chibi," "cute," and "damn fox" with her eyes still closed.

Even in her sleep she antagonized him.

_Maybe we should help him,_ Kuwabara said concernedly. Yusuke seemed to have no thoughts of saving anyone, seeing as she'd whipped a camera out of nowhere and was now snapping numerous pictures while cackling insanely. Botan, looking permanently traumatized by Yusuke's "kukuku"-ing, shaking Ren's shoulder ineffectually and attempting to remove her colleague's hands from Kurama's choking alter-ego. Youko was turning blue and looking angrier and angrier.

It was only a matter of time before he released some plant from the Demon World on Ren. Apparently the young guide was a violent sleeper.

Botan dropped her own arms by her sides and looked down at Ren, who was still sleeping peacefully despite the fact she looked like she was trying to murder Youko. The blue-haired ferrygirl sighed and reached into her back pocket, her facial expression remorseful.

"I'm sorry about this, Ren…"

Kuwabara didn't see what she did, but it was apparently something very bad, because Ren started screaming like someone was killing her. Youko took the opportunity to vault over his seat and steal Yusuke's, who looked somewhat disgruntled that she wouldn't be able to get anymore pictures.

_What'd she do?_

…_**I think Botan just sprayed cologne in her face.**_

Kuwabara winced. She'd never particularly enjoyed the smell of cologne, preferring a more natural scent (aka soap), but some guys just didn't know when to stop using it. Ren – now thankfully awake – spluttered and coughed, choking out obscenities that made even Yusuke blush. Botan quickly clapped a hand over her colleague's face – the flight attendants looked somewhat angry.

_**I've seen enough.**_ Hiei sounded disgusted. _**See you at the airport.**_

Kuwabara stood and leaned over Yusuke's seat to talk to the other girl. "So…?" she asked.

"Apparently Ren hates cologne," Yusuke groused, switching off her camera. "Y'know, this is gonna get us kicked off the plane."

Kuwabara laughed. "Oh, c'mon. They can't do that…can they?"

Yusuke rolled her eyes. "You'd be surprised.

* * *

Botan switched seats with Ren in order to keep the ferrygirl from strangling Youko again. Yusuke scooted as far away from the green-haired girl as possible – Ren's eyes were bloodshot and she looked like the living dead. Youko eyed Botan warily.

"Why do you carry cologne around with you anyway?"

Why indeed?

"Situations like these," Botan said. "It's happened before."

Youko didn't ask her to elaborate.

Ren huffed. "Danks a lod, Bodan," she said stuffily. "I dink I'm scarred for life."

"You'll live," Yusuke said dismissively. "If high school girls go through it at least five times a day, so can you."

"I have a sensidive nose," Ren insisted in whiny tones. She reached into her bag and pulled out a book. "Now shuddup."

Yusuke complied, surprisingly enough. After a few minutes of doing nothing but twiddling her thumbs, though, she was bored.

"I'm bored," she announced loudly.

And we all know what happens when Yusuke's bored…

* * *

"Have a nice day," the flight attendant said with forced politeness as she directed passengers off the plane. Ren, who had apparently recovered from the cologne incident, elbowed Yusuke in the ribs.

"I'm pretty sure you just got us banned from this airline," she hissed at the Spirit Detective, who scowled. She opened her mouth to retort, but was cut off by the appearance of a familiar, spiky-haired individual.

"Gah!"

Hiei gazed calmly up at Yusuke, a faintly amused look in her eyes. "Impressive, Detective," she muttered sarcastically. "Even a thousand miles up in the air, you still manage to cause chaos."

"Ah, shut up."

Ren groaned, massaging the bridge of her nose. "Can we _please_ go now?" she demanded, after almost being mowed over by several overexcited schoolchildren. "I don't think I can stand this place any longer."

Botan glanced at her watch. "We should find some way to get to the hotel, then," she sighed. "Anyone have cab fare?"

The group exchanged glances. Yusuke shrugged. "I'm broke."

"Me too," said Kuwabara. Botan shook her head.

"High school students…" She glanced at Hiei, then shook her head. "Silly me, we couldn't expect _you_ of all people to be carrying human cash…"

"Don't you have cab fare?" Ren asked her. Botan laughed sheepishly.

"Uh, I was going to ask Koenma for it, but I may have overlooked that little detail…did you ask him?"

Ren sighed, shaking her head. Then, all eyes went to Youko, who hadn't spoken at all since they'd gotten off the plane. Youko, feeling the pressure of their gazes on him, turned slowly to look warily at the group. "What?"

"Kurama's the responsible one," Botan reasoned, "so she would've brought cab fare, wouldn't she?"

Youko sighed. "You forget that Shuichi didn't pack the bags. _I_ did."

Ren looked appalled. "And the great King of Thieves doesn't carry money around with him? Not even enough to ride a cab?"

The fox made a face at her. "If I need money, I'll just steal it. No big deal."

There was an uncomfortable silence as everyone pondered this statement. "Well," Yusuke said slowly, as though reluctant to voice her thoughts, "since no one has cab fare, and we need to get to the hotel within an hour or so…"

"It's just once," Kuwabara muttered, her face looking guilty.

"Just once," Botan echoed. Hiei didn't look like she cared very much – after all, she could run to the hotel if she wanted anyway. Ren made a frustrated noise and glanced upwards.

"King Yama, please forgive me for what I am about to do," she said, then ducked her head. "This is going to get us _both_ fired," she shot at Botan, then motioned to Youko. "Give me your hand."

"I'll admit that I've never tried, but I don't think it's detachable."

"Don't be a smartass," Ren snapped. "Let me see your hand."

Youko rolled his eyes, but complied nonetheless. Ren made a couple minute adjustments to the bracelet on the fox's wrist, then stepped back. "There. Now go and rob a couple tourists so we can pay for a stupid cab."

Youko glanced at the bracelet. "What did you do to it?"

"Modified its radius. You can go anywhere basically within the area of the airport, but you have to be back here within fifteen minutes, or it resets to the way it was before." Ren glared. "Will that be enough time for the great King of Thieves to steal some petty cab fare?"

Youko snorted. "Are you kidding? I could do that in _half_ the time you've given me."

"Great then. Now, don't do anything else, or I'm going to have to – "

"Report to Koenma and throw me in prison for the rest of my natural life span," Youko said flippantly, already moving. "Yeah, yeah, whatever." His eyes seemed to glint with a kind of excited fervor. "Finally, a break," he whooped quietly to himself, and then ran off. Ren sighed, already having a bad feeling about this…

* * *

And I think you all know where this is going! Well, since I'm kinda running out of inspiration, I'll leave it here. Hopefully you enjoyed the chapter, even though it was incredibly boring! See you next time!


	18. Tokyo, We Have Arrived

OH MAN. IT HAS BEEN ALMOST TWO FULL YEARS SINCE I TOUCHED THIS.

If any of you are still with me, I fall to my knees and kiss your feet in gratitude. Figuratively speaking that is.

A lot's changed in the time I've been gone, but I'm pretty determined to finish this fic. I've forgotten most of what's happened (that tends to occur when you don't touch a story for two years…), but I'm reviewing quickly and getting back on track! Hopefully I'll finish this…and it won't be two years until my next update, hehe.

I've been working on my writing (as all writers should do) and I hope you see a (positive) difference! Enjoy!

* * *

**SHE'S THE MAN**

_By Kohaku Minamoto_

**Chapter 18. Tokyo, We Have Arrived**

It had been…a long time since Youko had had this much freedom.

Even in his new body, Shuichi's conscience kept him in check, and he was never allowed to have quite as much fun as he would have liked. Grudgingly, he had to accept it – casual theft was not quite as acceptable in the Human World as it was in the Demon world – but that didn't mean he had to _like_ it.

I mean, jacking shiny objects from unsuspecting victims is to a master thief as snorting crack is to a crack addict. It's fun, it gives you a wicked high, and if you might get hurt in the process, hey – who wants to live forever anyway?

He'd seen human thieves and their so-called amazing "thefts" – their amateurish bumbling usually made him scoff. Honestly, he could do all that and more blind and with one hand tied behind his back. _Two_ hands, actually – his plants would do the rest. There was a reason why Youko was the undisputed King of Thieves, and why King Yama would have liked nothing better than to lock him up in a dark, damp cell for the rest of eternity.

He was very, _very_ good at what he did. Dangerously good.

Stealing cab fare in the middle of a crowded airport, with security guards everywhere and high-tech cameras tracking every movement?

Psht. Child's play.

Youko strolled along casually, hands stuffed in his pockets as he scoped out potential victims. That girl over there, dressed a black Lolita-style dress and bobbing her head along to the music blasting through her headphones? Nah – she looked like she'd blown all her cash on the fifty pounds of eyeliner smothering her eyelids. The tall, harassed-looking man in a brown suit with a coffee stain on his lapel? Too working-class; he probably wouldn't have anything good on him.

Now, Youko knew that he only needed to steal some small bills, just from some unsuspecting, relatively well-off civilians who wouldn't miss it. But why not have some fun in the fifteen minutes of freedom he'd been given? It was time to wreak some havoc.

He spotted his first target and sped up his pace, zipping between people so quickly that even the camera-eyes couldn't keep up with his movements. Within seconds, he'd slipped behind the woman, removed a few choice items from her person without her taking notice, and whisked himself away to stand before a vending machine, looking for all the world like a teenage girl trying to decide on a suitable snack.

Inside, he was grinning like…well, rather like a fox.

Duh.

Three…two…one…

"Fifi! Where's my Fifi!"

Youko, stepping behind a potted plant that obligingly shifted its leaves to shade him from view, gently laid the comatose little dog against the bush. He hadn't _hurt_ the creature, obviously, but a small, concentrated dose of sleeping gas had put perfect-pedigree Fifi out of commission for a few hours.

A small release of energy and the plant grew to completely cover Fifi, hiding her completely from any prying eyes. The woman wouldn't be able to find her precious pet for quiet a while, and by that time, she would be _frantic_. She wouldn't even notice the absence of the diamond earrings he'd delicately plucked from her ears until it was too late.

That way, that midget ferrygirl would never know what kind of fun he was having. Hehe.

He glanced at Shuichi's watch. Two minutes gone. Plenty of time left – what other victims could he filch something from?

He flitted out from behind the plant and strolled past a few stores, humming absently to himself. Glancing at the shop window and the price tags of the merchandise inside, he had to roll his eyes. He'd never understood the human obsession with designer handbags and shoes. Really, how much could such things really be worth, especially when they faded and broke? He would much rather have things that never lost their value – things like precious stones and priceless family heirlooms came to mind.

Though he would never say no to a dangerous artifact or two…

He shook his head and continued on, passing a short man who was gabbing avidly on his cell phone and gesticulating wildly. As he did, Youko reached out a quick hand and nabbed the silver cufflinks from the man's sleeves, slipping them gently into his own pocket. He'd actually meant to take the small silver piercing from the man's nose (it was a far better challenge to take something literally from under someone's nose, after all) but the cufflinks had caught his eye. They were in the shape of tiny roses, so delicately worked that one could see the details of every petal.

A bit of an indulgence, but so what? Shuichi never asked for anything expensive for his birthday. Maybe the kid would appreciate the impressive craftsmanship in these cufflinks.

In the next ten minutes, Youko accumulated quite an impressive collection of valuable items, all belonging to other people. These included (but were not limited to): two iPods, six cell phones, a necklace, a bracelet, five rings (they looked like wedding rings too; those people's spouses would _not_ be happy), a cat-shaped broach, a crystal from a woman's jewel-encrusted thong (it wasn't that hard to filch it – the girl's skirt was so short she was practically flashing everyone in the airport. Moreover, Youko had to wonder why on _earth_ she was wearing such an uncomfortable thing in the first place), four pairs of designer sunglasses, one _very_ spiffy-looking fountain pen, someone's keys, someone else's left loafer, and a diamond-encrusted pacifier.

The last item he'd stolen – obviously – from a baby. He usually didn't taken things from such young victims – there was a reason the saying went as it did – but seriously. A diamond-encrusted _pacifier_? He'd taken the thing just for kicks, figuring any woman who was willing to spend that much money on an infant's toy would be able to stand a bit of crying, kicking, and screaming.

He briefly considered giving the thing to Koenma, just to see the look on his face. But that would raise some rather awkward questions and he really didn't owe _anything_ to that little brat of a prince anyway, so Youko dumped the pacifier in a trashcan and went on his merry way. Actually, he casually relocated a lot of the things he'd stolen, particularly the random bits of technology he'd stolen just for the novelty of it (Demon World didn't have such fancy-schmancy touch-screen music players, after all). The jewels, though, he kept, for later admiring.

It was only in the three minutes of his time that he remembered what he'd actually been sent out to do. Without much exertion, he stole enough cab fare from a stuck-up looking lady under the guise of buying a bag of chips from her. He didn't feel bad about it at all; in his mind, _she_ was paying _him_ for having the opportunity to spend two minutes in the company of the legendary King of Thieves.

Those kinds of moments were definitely priceless.

Ren raised her eyebrows as he returned. "You stole a bag of chips?"

He sniffed and looked offended. "I'll have you know I paid for these." He practically threw the cab fare at her. "Here, mission accomplished."

Ren looked suspiciously at him. "You didn't steal anything unnecessary?"

"Of course not." Not totally untrue, with a bit of perspective. _Youko_ certainly thought that a few random jewels in a person's life were a necessary thing.

"I saw some girl looking for her cell phone a few minutes ago. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

"Don't be stupid. What use would I have for some useless piece of gadgetry?"

"What about the man walking around with only one shoe on?"

"Why in the world would I want to steal somebody's smelly old shoe? You're really reaching here, ferrygirl. But if it makes you feel any better, you can search my person for any stolen items." He stretched his arms away from his torso as though inviting her to test her suspicions. "Go ahead."

He knew she wouldn't find anything – he had only kept things that were small enough to be hidden in small seedpods in his hair. It was very useful to have this much hair – no one could ever tell when you were hiding something.

Ren still looked distrustful, but let it go. "I'll take your word for it, I guess. We have to go."

Youko hid a grin. "Suit yourself."

The group started off towards the exit. As he gathered up his things and prepared to do the same, Youko felt a slight tug on his sleeve. He looked over – and down – to see Hiei staring up at him.

"That was an enormous waste of time, fox."

He rolled his eyes – he had expected Hiei to be watching. Not that he _cared_; the shorter demon had even fewer morals than Youko did, if that were even possible. "It's called _fun_, Hiei. You might want to try it sometime."

Hiei's crimson eyes narrowed. "Robbing from humans is hardly an interesting endeavor. They're so wrapped up in their own problems that they wouldn't even notice if you plucked the eyes right out of their face. _Killing_ humans, on the other hand…" One side of her mouth lifted in a predatory grin, revealing a pointed canine. "That is _much_ more fun."

Yusuke, who had heard only the tail-end of the conversation as she passed by, reached out to cuff Hiei on the side of the head. "Hey, no killing humans, shorty," she called over her shoulder, drawing a few odd looks from passerby. "That's not on the schedule for today."

Youko shrugged. "And I suppose stealing from Spirit World is so much more satisfying…?"

He gave Hiei a meaningful look. The other apparition didn't exactly blush, but her face did take on a distinctly ugly look as she was reminded of how that particular endeavor had ended.

I.e., with an amateur Spirit Detective beating her face into the ground. Youko had to hand it to the kid – Yusuke, despite all his lack of finesse, sure knew how to make powerful demons feel stupid.

Hiei's aura of murderous gloom was abruptly shattered as a rather…well-padded lady, wearing a disturbing number of animal pelts slung around her neck and shoulders, rushed by, her wildly swinging handbag whacking Hiei on the back and knocking the diminutive apparition forward a few steps. "Fifi! Where's my Fifi!"

Hiei straightened, shaking herself off. She raised a dark eyebrow at Youko. "I don't suppose you know anything about this?" she said sarcastically. Youko shrugged, widening his eyes innocently.

"No idea."

* * *

"Holy – "

" – Crap."

Botan huffed a little in annoyance. "Will you boys – girls – _please_ remove your faces from the glass? You're embarrassing the rest of us!"

Kuwabara drew back, looking abashed, but Yusuke remained with her face mashed against the elevator's glass wall, nose flattened piggishly and eyes goggling. "Sorry, Botan," she said, voice slightly muffled, "but this place is friggin' _posh_. Holy crap," she repeated again.

Botan sighed. "Yes, it _is_ very posh, but that doesn't mean that you should be acting like a gawking fool. We've got an image to uphold here!"

The elevator bell dinged, signaling their arrival and – thankfully – forestalling any argument between Yusuke and Botan. The group piled out of the elevator, lugging their suitcases after them. Ren glanced at the small packet she'd gotten from the hotel staff upon their arrival. "Rooms 418 and 419. They're adjoining, but we're going to have to share." She eyed their group appraisingly. "Botan and I will each be in one room, to keep an eye on the rest of you."

"I resent that!" Yusuke piped up, jabbing her finger in the air. "We're perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves!"

"I'm sure you are," Ren said, but her sarcastic tone of voice – not to mention the gratuitous eye-rolling – belied the lack of truth in her statement. "But nevertheless…let's say, Yusuke and Youko in one room with Botan, and Hiei and Kuwabara in the other room with me."

The roars of protest were deafening. "What?" Yusuke cried.

"I'm not sharing a room with the shrimp!"

"I'm not sharing a room with the idiot."

"Who are you calling an idiot, shrimp!"

"Who do you _think_?"

Botan interposed herself before a full-out brawl between Hiei and Kuwabara could start. "Okay, okay," she said quickly. "Calm down. This is up for negotiation, right, Ren?"

Ren scowled. "Alright. What do you propose?"

"Me and Kuwabara in one room, Hiei and Youko in the other," Yusuke said quickly. The rest of the team seemed happy with this, but Botan and Ren shook their heads fervently.

"Bad for several reasons," Ren said. "First of all, you and Kuwabara get into random brawls too often for the furniture to be safe. The rest of the time, the two of you are just incredibly loud. Second, with Hiei and Youko in one room together, we have no idea _what_ kind of demonic havoc they could be wreaking."

"But you or Botan will be in there with them!"

Ren snorted. "Please, do you think I'm going to spend all night making sure those two don't kill someone? I'm sleeping."

"Me too," Botan said decisively. "So how's this. Yusuke and Hiei in one room with me, and Youko and Kuwabara in the other room with Ren."

A brief silence as everyone looked at everyone else. Then mutters of, "Yep," "Okay," "Fine," and "Whatever," were voiced. Botan looked ecstatic that the issue had finally been resolved.

Youko, however, had something to say. "I'm not sharing a room with her," he said tonelessly, jabbing a finger at Ren.

"Huh?" You could practically see the lightbulb go on over Botan's head. "Oh _right_. Since she tried to strangle you last time. Um…well, I suppose I could go with you and Kuwabara, and Ren can stay with Yusuke and Hiei."

"Wait a minute." Ren squinted at Youko. "When exactly are you planning on changing back into your human form?"

"I'll let you know," Youko said, almost breezily. "Don't worry – it'll at least be before you leave for the national competition."

"But you're a _guy_."

"So are most of the people here."

"But they _look_ like girls now, at least."

"So do I…"

"That's just an illusion!"

Youko frowned. "Do you really think a simple body swap is going to change anything? Yusuke still looks down her shirt at every opportunity when she thinks no one's looking!"

There was an indignant, "I do not!" from the Spirit Detective, followed by a quiet, "You do too," from Kuwabara. Both Ren and Youko ignored them.

"But…but…" Ren threw her hands up in the air. "Fine. I suppose we're all responsible people here, yes?"

"Of course."

"You can count on us!"

"Ground rules first. First and foremost, absolutely _no fighting_. If you have some sort of macho dispute with your roommate, take it _outside_, where there aren't any breakable items standing around. Second, don't take anything from the mini-bars." She glared especially hard at Yusuke, who immediately took offense.

"What the hell are you looking at me for?"

"I don't know – you just look like the type that would take this opportunity to do a little underage drinking."

"Would not!"

"Okay, okay," Botan said hurriedly, playing peacemaker once again. "Er, go on, Ren."

"Alright…don't steal anything except for the free shampoo," here she looked pointedly at Youko, who raised his eyebrows, "don't call home on the hotel phones, or else that will cost us a fortune," she glanced at Kuwabara, who looked guilty – she was already thinking of calling home to speak to either Yukina or Eikichi (or both), "and _don't kill anyone_." This last one was directed at Hiei, who merely grunted in a noncommittal way as if to say, "Fine, but don't bet on it."

"Everyone got it?" Botan hardly waited for an answer before clapping her hands. "Good. Now, let's get our room keys and rest up a bit before dinner. The hotel's providing a complementary dinner service, free of extra charge!" She looked excited at this prospect. "So…dress semi-nicely, alright?"

Ren frowned. "They're going to notice if Kurama doesn't look the way she usually does."

Botan deflated. "Oh…that's right…"

All eyes went to Youko, who shrugged, unconcerned. "It's alright," he said, almost flippantly. "I can come up with another illusion."

"But you don't talk _anything_ like Kurama does," Yusuke said. Youko nearly rolled his eyes.

"Don't patronize me. I've shared this body with Shuichi for nearly sixteen years now; I think I know his speech patterns well enough. Anyway…" His eyes glinted dangerously. "If we see Eternal Winter at the dinner, I'd like to have a word with Pandora anyway."

Sweatdrops all around. Ren, surprisingly – or maybe unsurprisingly, given the way Pandora had treated her at their last meeting – did not protest. "Okay, fine. But if you slip up even _once_ at the dinner, I'm calling Spirit World Animal Control on you."

"That's a burn," Yusuke called out unnecessarily. Everyone rolled their eyes at her.

"Don't worry," Youko said smoothly. "There won't be any sort of slip-ups here."

Ren sighed. "We're trusting you on this for now." She handed out the room keys. "Alright, lets go."

* * *

Ren hadn't taken more than three steps into the room before she dropped her suitcase and fell flat on one of the two queen-sized beds, still fully dressed. "I'm going to take a nap," she muffled against the blankets. "The two of you had better…stay out of…trouble…or I'll…kill…"

She was asleep. Yusuke and Hiei looked at each other, then at the remaining bed.

An awkward silence.

"Dude," Yusuke said finally. "Do we have to share the bed?"

Hiei shook her head. "I'm sleeping outside."

"No sleeping outside!" They both whipped around to look at Ren, but the girl hadn't budged at all. Apparently she was talking in her sleep. Yusuke rolled her eyes.

"It's probably better if you stay inside. I doubt there are even any trees in Tokyo for you to sleep in, anyway."

Their eyes went to the bed again. "But I'm _not_ going to share a bed with you," Yusuke said, with an air of finality. "I don't care if we're both girls now; it's still weird."

"The feeling is mutual."

They looked at each other. "There's only one way to settle this," Yusuke declared, her eyes narrowing into devious slits. "And you know what it is."

Hiei nodded emotionlessly. "I do."

"Well then. Let's do this."

"Yes. Let's."

Our two heroes – heroines? – rolled up their sleeves, put on their battle faces, and –

Proceeded to play three rounds of rock paper scissors in quick succession.

* * *

I think this was a pretty long chapter…it got sorta hard to write, but I was determined to finish! Think of it as a present.

So…see you guys next time! Hopefully it'll be less than two years this time…maybe just one year? Hahaha…


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